Trump spent much of his time with Faulkner lashing out at his former attorney, confidante, and fixer Michael Cohen, who was sentenced this week to three years in prison for a host of financial crimes—including arranging hush money payments to the president’s paramours during the 2016 election.

“I never directed him to do anything wrong,” Trump insisted, claiming instead that Cohen:

A) Should have known that he was breaking the law because he’s an attorney;

B) Didn’t actually work for Trump as a lawyer, so much as a low-level PR guy;

C) Only pled guilty to make the president look bad in the first place.

“What [Cohen] did was all unrelated to me except for the two campaign finance charges that are not criminal and shouldn’t have been on there,” Trump claimed, at times waving printed-out articles he said exonerated him from any wrongdoing. “They put that on to embarrass me.”


The president did not reconcile the fact that he’d managed to undercut his own claim that, as his attorney, Cohen was solely at fault, by later adding that Cohen didn’t really do much legal work for him after all.

“I hire usually good people,” Trump insisted.

Trump also offered his deep and profound thoughts on the Paris climate accords (“the Paris accord is not working out too well for Paris. Because of that accord, the whole country is burning down”), General Motors’ recent layoffs (“under my leadership, Ohio’s going to replace those jobs in like two minutes”), and admitted felon, former National Security Advisor Gen. Mike Flynn (“He’s a tougher kind of a guy than Cohen”).


Trump ended the interview by saying that what he loved most about being president was “getting things done for the people,” despite the fact that he reportedly didn’t show up to work until after 11 this morning.