Not Even the Most Pathetic Losers Want to Be Trump's Chief of Staff

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Another day, another onetime Trump confidant publicly declining to be President Donald Trump’s next chief of staff before he’d even been offered the gig.


First it was Mike Pence’s chief of staff Nick Ayers, who was reportedly Trump’s first, last, and only pick to replace the president’s outgoing current chief of staff, John Kelly. After Ayers turned down the job and announced he would bounce out of the Trump administration entirely at the end of the year, the White House launched a frantic scramble to find somebody—anybody—to take his place. It has not gone well, to say the least.

Which brings us to former New Jersey governor and thoroughly humiliated Trump sycophant Chris Christie, who had rocketed to the top of Trump’s shortlist earlier this week after pretty much everyone else had said no. On Friday, Christie offered a surprise announcement of his own, pulling himself out of the running by claiming that “now is not the right time for me or my family to undertake this serious assignment.”


Personally, I’m amazed that the least popular governor in his state’s history wouldn’t be super psyched to go back to work for a guy who publicly mocked his weight, ordered his food for him, and forced him to stand there for this:

Meanwhile, John Kelly’s eventual departure keeps getting more and more eventual, with a Fox News report claiming that he hasn’t actually been given a hard exit date yet.

And while Kelly hasn’t said what he’ll do post-White House, his predecessor Reince Priebus will reportedly spend his life after Trump in the Navy. Looks like he’s not the only one who wants to be shipped as far away from the White House as possible.

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.