Nothing But Respect for MY First Lady (The Flag)

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Today is Flag Day. What’s Flag Day, you ask? Well. It’s the day that we first said this flag is our flag.


We love the flag. The American Flag? It’s a pretty good flag, if I’m being honest. I like it. Not as cool as the flag of Mozambique, I’d say, which has a freakin’ gun on it, or the flag of California maybe, cause that one has a freakin’ bear on it. But all told? A good flag. Strong stripes, nice stars, bold primary colors.

You know who really loves the flag? President Donald Trump, baby. Now there’s a guy who loves his flag.

Damn. Look at him go! Huggin’ all over that flag. That’s a big one he’s got there, with some tassles. It was on the stage at CPAC a couple months back and he just went for it. Almost looks like he wants to kiss it! There was a tweet about this, hold on.

There it is. The flag—fuckable? Not for me to say. If Trump were to say, though, he’d probably say yes.

Contributing Writer, Splinter