Nothing But Respect for MY First Lady (The Flag)

Photo: Jose Luis Magana (AP)

Today is Flag Day. What’s Flag Day, you ask? Well. It’s the day that we first said this flag is our flag.

We love the flag. The American Flag? It’s a pretty good flag, if I’m being honest. I like it. Not as cool as the flag of Mozambique, I’d say, which has a freakin’ gun on it, or the flag of California maybe, cause that one has a freakin’ bear on it. But all told? A good flag. Strong stripes, nice stars, bold primary colors.

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You know who really loves the flag? President Donald Trump, baby. Now there’s a guy who loves his flag.

Damn. Look at him go! Huggin’ all over that flag. That’s a big one he’s got there, with some tassles. It was on the stage at CPAC a couple months back and he just went for it. Almost looks like he wants to kiss it! There was a tweet about this, hold on.

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There it is. The flag—fuckable? Not for me to say. If Trump were to say, though, he’d probably say yes.

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About the author

Jack Crosbie

Contributing Writer, Splinter