On Monday 14-year old Ahmed Mohamed was arrested in Irving, Texas after he brought a homemade clock he'd built into school. Mohamed, a Muslim of Sudanese descent, said the clock was a clock, but was handcuffed and escorted from school anyway. The story has quickly spread around the world, and the hashtag #IStandWithAhmed is trending globally.
However, in the interest of making sure both sides of the story are fully covered, we here at Fusion have decided to help out the police force of Irving, Texas. Here are a few other items they may want to investigate.
Let's start closest to the case at hand, with another so-called clock. Potato clocks, which can be assembled using tools available from are for sale on such shadowy sites as "Amazon dot com"
Ostensibly used to tell time, these devices are constructed using wires (also used in explosives) and potatoes. The USDA says that one large potato may contain 284 calories, a measure of energy. Explosions also involve energy, and who knows how much havoc 568 calories (most of these literally-ticking time bombs involve two potatoes) of raw potato energy could wreak when combined with wiring. Irving police, please investigate!
Much like its cousin, the potato clock, the wiring and sharp edges speak for themselves here. Just looking at all that copper is making me dizzy.
Baking soda volcanoes
Terrorists have figured out how to turn the power of Earth itself against us. Using common household ingredients like vinegar and baking soda, it's possible to create dangerous chemical reactions. These could lead to an attack that would reshape the landscape of our nation, and of our souls.
These "instruments for mathematical measurement" require no assembly, and have two or sometimes three sharp corners. A potential terrorist could use one to seize control of a school. Be on the lookout.
Mentos and Diet Coke
Once again, you can create an explosion using good ol' American food products. Two liters of carbonated fear. Horrifying.
Non-Newtonian fluid (aka Oobleck)
Don't be fooled by the cute name. "Oobleck" is made using cornstarch and water, and it allows even the most un-resourceful enemy to mix the properties of both solids and liquids.
Though no hard numbers are available, national security experts say these veritable genocide tools may already have caused the death of untold American insects. Even scarier, many of these are being performed by homegrown terrorists: American citizens!
Soda bottle tornadoes
Another case of the power of the Earth being turned against us. So far there are no reports of these miniature vortexes escaping their plastic prisons, but it's only a matter of time until they're set loose on a helpless nation.
Compass stabbings are a serious danger. Adding a pen or pencil and an assailant will double the damage that they can do.
Disguised as candy, these cluster bombs can be snuck into classrooms and secure facilities using the attacker's body (specifically, the mouth).
Despite these grave threats, our nation's leaders aren't taking the danger seriously. Just look at terrorist appeaser President Obama, making light out of a serious clock situation.
It's time to lead, Mr. President, and shut down dangerous science classes before it's too late.
Ethan Chiel is a reporter for Fusion, writing mostly about the internet and technology. You can (and should) email him at firstname.lastname@example.org