OkCupid Founder OK With Massages on First Date

It seems like everyone is looking for love on the dating site OkCupid. There are more than 7 million registered users on the popular site, including me. And, it's addicting. But not for the reasons you'd think.


During my free time I roam the virtual halls of single town and have seen the weird, the ugly, the crazy and the occasional handsome or normal man. After being on OkCupid for six months, I’m now less inclined to go on dates with most of the men on the website but instead am way more likely to frequent the many profiles that are absurd or downright ridiculous.

One of the co-founders of OkCupid is Sam Yagan, who despite meeting the love of his life in high school, has his hands in some of the biggest online dating services—he’s the CEO of Match.com, and most recently he purchased the matchmaking app Tinder. TIME Magazine included Yagan in their list of the “100 Most Influential People in the World.”


So, I figured Yagan would be the guy to speak with to find out why OkCupid wasn’t working for me. I was hopeful that the site still had the potential to find a decent match for me and was hoping Yagan could help me out.

I showed him a recent message I received from an OkCupid user:

“I suspect that this may be out of character for you but what would you say to a day at the beach featuring paddleboarding, drinks on the sand, hot tub, pool, coconut scented sensual grafenberg massages, and Netflix? “

After I looked up the meaning of the term grafenberg I was horrified. This was the user's idea of a friendly first message and suggestions for a first date??

Yagan’s reaction to sensual massages?

“Amazing!” he said. "He just planned an entire day for you two.”

And night, apparently.

I suppose that was thoughtful. But following my conversation with Yagan, another employee came up to me and admitted that the message, which I read out loud in the OkCupid offices, seemed odd and was a huge red flag in her book.


Yagan did concede that a coffee date might be a bit more standard for the first date, which is something I might suggest as an alternative.

Until then, as I search for more prospects, Yagan did provide me with a few helpful tips – watch the video to hear about them.

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