On a scale of zero to 1 billion, how awkward is it going to be for Ted Cruz to go back to the Senate?

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So Ted Cruz is out.

It seems his half-hearted attempt to join forces with John Kasich and the bizarrely timed decision to name Carly Fiorina as his vice presidential pick did not endear him to Indiana voters, who overwhelmingly turned out for Donald Trump.


The presidential primary is over for the Texas Republican, but his Senate seat is still there waiting for him.

Like Rubio before him, Cruz will now head back to the U.S. Capitol, where he will be greeted by his colleagues—including those who said they wouldn't mind that much if he literally got murdered.


Remember when Lindsey Graham said: "If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you"?

Or when Orrin Hatch, the most senior Republican in the Senate, said that the Republican party will "lose if he's our nominee"?

Or when John McCain said there was "no doubt" Cruz has "harmed relationships" with his fellow Republicans?

Or when Dan Coats, a Republican senator from Indiana, took issue with Cruz's habit of referring to members of Congress as a cartel? "An awful lot of us really didn't like to be targeted as corrupt, establishment bought by the lobby establishment," Coats said. "It sure looks like someone was using it as a way to gain notoriety as the only true conservative in Washington."


Or when Peter King, a Republican congressman from New York, said he would take cyanide if Cruz won the nomination?

These people still work together. It's like that time you talked an epic amount of shit on your friend's ex and then they got back together. Only instead of just making polite conversation at dinner parties you had to figure out a way to make laws and help run a country.


Good luck, everyone!

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