Our new Twitter bot randomly generates headlines about John Oliver destroying things

John Oliver is not a violent man, but if you read a lot of news websites on Monday mornings, you might get a different impression.

John Oliver’s path of destruction stretches across the internet: Oliver has smashed, trashed, bashed, blown up, and obliterated subjects ranging from FIFA to the NCAA, from televangelists to standardized. Anything that John Oliver touches becomes instantly decimated.

Why Internet aggregators began describing the pasty British comedian as though he were The Incredible Hulk is a mystery. But as long as Last Week Tonight continues to put out oh-so-tempting embeddable video clips, editors will keep on using him to fill the Monday morning doldrums.

Here’s an alternative to that: a Twitter bot we made that randomly generates combinations of John Oliver destroying different things every hour. Now you can imagine all the 20-minute Last Week Tonight segments that might’ve been as imagined through a super shareable headline optimized for social media.

The bot has been up at @JohnOliverBot for a few weeks now, and here are some of the objects that have drawn its ire since then:

This isn’t the first time Oliver’s taken on Ecuador, and it sounds like the bot finally got the upper hand.

Learn from the fate of South American nations and 17th century poets alike: Don’t piss off John Oliver. The next thing he EVISCERATES…could be you.