On Monday the stock market took an epic tumble, sending those who care about these types of things into a frenzy of fear. CNN Money reports that the Dow's 1,089 point fall—which happened almost immediately after the morning bell marked the start of trading for the day—is the "largest point loss ever during a trading day." The event inspired the hashtag #BlackMonday and caused speculation like:
…and prompted Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz to instruct baristas to be super nice to customers who seem like they've had a rough day, financially.
The market's sheer drop may have been unprecedented, but it wasn't unexpected. Fusion's Lauren Tara LaCapra explains that the panic follows economic upheaval in China:
China’s economy has been chugging along for years at a growth rate of 7% or more. But lately, the country has been releasing weaker-than-expected economic data and the Chinese government has had to intervene, devaluing its currency, the yuan, to support growth. The slow-down and intervention likely spooked investors who expected China’s charts to keep going up.
What we're seeing in the states is deeply and undoubtedly connected to troubles abroad. Unless! It has nothing to do with the Chinese economy, and everything to do with abortion. That's what our favorite Evangelist Pat Robertson said on The 700 Club, reports Right Wing Watch.
Confused? It's very simple. The government's use of our money to fund Planned Parenthood and, therefore, abortion, makes us, in Robertson's words, "complicit in terminating the lives of in excess of 50 million precious unborn children." God is not into that, says Robertson, asking rhetorically, "And don't you think almighty god is going to hold us accountable for that?"
If you have any doubts that God is pro-defunding Planned Parenthood, you should take the events of today as a warning. Robertson said of the apocalypse, presumably:
It’s coming, ladies and gentlemen. We just had a little taste of it in terms of the financial system, but it’s going to be shaken to its core in the next few months, years or however long it tastes and it will hurt every one of us.
Weirdly enough, Robertson said back in 2014 that he expected China to prompt a credit crisis that year. "That whole economy is like a house of card, and when it starts falling, it's going to affect the entire world," he said. But that was 2014. Apparently, if you want to avoid another scary financial day tomorrow, just convince your local representative that abortion is murder. Problem solved, good luck China.
Danielle Wiener-Bronner is a news reporter.