Pence Makes It Official—Space Force Baby!!!

White House

According to Vice President Mike Pence, we’re getting an honest to god, “Would you like to know more?” Space Force.

President Donald Trump has been rambling about creating a sixth branch of the United States military devoted to celestial warfare for some time now. But Pence made the proposal official on Wednesday, announcing at the Pentagon that it was time to take America’s wars to infinity and beyond.

“Just as we’ve done in ages past, the United States will meet the emerging threats on this new battlefield,” Pence said. “The time has come to establish the United States Space Force.”


Clear the president’s schedule, folks. Time for him to make laser noises with his mouth for the next twelve hours.

Of course, a rousing speech on the necessity of intergalactic soldiers doesn’t a Space Force make. While the White House has pushed Congress to spend an additional $8 billion on extra-terrestrial related military expenditures, the administration’s 2020 launch goal will still come with a hefty price tag—and that’s assuming the whole thing gets Congressional approval at all. So far, they don’t appear to be as enthusiastic about the idea.

That said, the attempted weaponization of space is hardly new. President Ronald Reagan infamously tried—and failed—to get his “Star Wars” anti-ICMB satellite system off the ground in the 1980s, and NASA and the military continue to enjoy a fraternally close relationship.

Still, Starship Troopers jokes aside, Pence’s so called “next and the natural evolution of American supremacy” also represents another step in the long American tradition of overtly militarizing nature (see also: air, water). Not that that seemed to dampen the president’s enthusiasm for rocket ships and laser guns.

Watch your ass, Mars.

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