Piss Off, Mate! Libby Watson Is Brexiting From Splinter

Illustration: Angelica Alzona (G/O Media)

Libby Watson has decided to be a real tosser and leave us for some rag we won’t even mention, to which we say: What the bloody hell guv!!!! It’s a real shame innit, but here’s some thoughts from some people about Libby.

Paul Blest, News Editor at Splinter

I started reading this website, well before I worked here, because of Libby and writers like her: sharp, funny, and openly hostile to the kind of manufactured politeness that permeates throughout the political discourse. In the year-plus I’ve been working here, which has recently included being Libby’s editor, I’ve realized there’s no one in media who’s more passionate about single-payer and the fact that everyone in this country deserves healthcare, not just bankruptcy-free but hassle-free as well. This shines through in every single thing she writes about it.

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That includes giving a big fuck you to people who deserve it, whenever they deserve it. Usually, those people are bosses, lobbyists, and PHCFHACHFRFKC, and media dummies.

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Thanks to Libby for being a real one and a comrade in our never-ending fight against whoever happens to owns us at the time. Thanks to TNR for hiring away another one of our writers, it’s actually funny to me. Thanks to Axios for nothing. Most importantly, thanks to Digby.

Aleksander Chan, Editor in Chief of Splinter

Libby is the fucking funniest writer we will probably ever have and I am equally doubtful we’ll ever find anyone as clear-eyed as her about what is right and what is wrong. She’s is a defining voice of Splinter and we just won’t be the same without her.

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Clio Chang, Former Staff Writer at Splinter

When I first met Libby, I said “’Ello there mate.” Now I guess it’s time to say “Goodbye mate.”

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Jack Crosbie, Contributor at Splinter

Libby Watson is like, definitely in my top five favorite British people, including half of my entire family, who are British. It’s still utterly shocking to me that she cares as much about American politics and Americans in general as she does, but all of us are better off for it.

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Veronica de Souza, Former Head of Social and Audience at GMG

Libby’s departure is a loss for her colleagues and Splinter readers. Not for me, though, as I will continue to have full access to Libby in a slack channel dedicated to discussing bad tweets, perhaps your bad tweets.

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Samantha Grasso, Staff Writer at Splinter

Even before joining Splinter, I was always struck by Libby’s strong moral convictions in her writing, and I was all the more inspired in finding that she’s just as outspoken and brave and blunt and honest in person (well, online...). Hers is an example I’ve been continuously inspired by, and I will miss her, and Digby, very much!

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Katherine Krueger, Managing Editor at Splinter

Libby is a rare one. She has a truly deranged sense of humor, she takes absolutely no bullshit, and she’s the only one here that I can share un-woke memes about un-woke podcasts with. As her editor, she also regularly made me feel rather dim, as when we began working together, I genuinely wasn’t sure what, exactly, a “deductible” was. In many ways, Libby really “got” what we’ve been trying to do with Splinter since the beginning—antagonize the worst powerful people, demand more of lib shitheads, and believe, truly and deeply, that a better, more humane world is possible. She’s done essential, deeply personal writing about healthcare justice, about working women suffering from migraines, and about that time Ted Cruz liked the porn tweet.

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She also does good tweets and is a lovely friend, so I’m happy not to have to make her do blogs anymore. But, as I’ve already informed her, socialism means that she must transfer ownership of Digby to Splinter effective immediately. Sorry!!!!!!

Tom Ley, Features Editor at Deadspin

Deadspin has a horrifying Slack channel that is reserved for non-sports talk, and since its inception it has ballooned to include people from other GMG sites. That channel is often funny and often an absolute nightmare, but whenever I saw “libby watson is typing” I always knew something good was coming. It’s always a shame to see such a talented Slack user depart.

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Nick Martin, Former Staff Writer at Splinter

There are a lot of things to admire about Libby—her infuriatingly perfect cat, her mastering of Breath of the Wild, her insightful blogs about America’s godawful healthcare system—but the one quality I valued that most was that she had the ability to stir the shit-for-brain cave dwellers at Clashtalk into a more delirious frenzy on a daily basis than I ever did with my Not Voting post or The Greying. That is an accomplishment worth cherishing forever. Too bad we’ll never talk again.

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Katie McDonough, Senior Editor at Jezebel

Liby’s writing is exceptionally smart, clear-eyed, and mean. Libby herself is exceptionally smart, clear-eyed, and nice, except for the time that she and Emma Roller ruthlessly made fun of me for being bad at Mario Kart and never let me pity win even once. I will miss working with her, but I will never play video games with her again.

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Bryan Menegus, Senior Writer at Gizmodo

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Jack Mirkinson, Deputy Editor at Splinter

Libby is the kind of journalist who is brilliant both at covering the injustices of our politics in humane and unsparing detail, and also at telling idiots to fuck off. That is the kind of journalist you want in your corner, always, and we were more than lucky that Libby was in ours.

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Hamilton Nolan, Senior Writer at Splinter

Libby Watson is a real one. This is the highest praise I can give. Like all real ones, she is too badass for this world, and must now ascend to a higher plane. No matter how far you go Libby, never forget: you are blog. 

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Luis Paez-Pumar, Staff Writer at Deadspin

Libby has a good cat, and I don’t like cats. Libby has good politics opinions, and I don’t like politics. Libby apparently pronounces YouTube “yewCHUBE,” so I like Libby. Sorry this isn’t much of a roast (I blame it on her not being trapped in NYC with the rest of us idiots), but I’ll miss her dunking on everyone in Slack and sharing weirdly mundane anecdotes from her blissful married life. I also respect someone with the mental fortitude to only follow 37 people on Twitter, what a life that must be. Pip pip.

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Alex Pareene, Former Politics Editor at Splinter

So interesting to see ‘Progressive’ Bloggers, who originally came from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe, the worst, most corrupt and inept anywhere in the world, now loudly and viciously telling the people of the United States, the greatest and most powerful Nation on earth, how our government is to be run.

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Why don’t they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came. Then come back and show us how it is done.

Ashley Reese, Staff Writer at Jezebel

Just want to thank Libby for teaching my fellow Americans how to pronounce “twat.”

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Emma Roller, Former Senior Writer at Splinter

When I heard Libby was leaving Splinter to work for a Republican magazine, I was shocked and appalled—a turncoat in our midst? Then a small child explained to me that The New Republic is not, in fact, an outgrowth of The Heritage Foundation, but a liberal magazine that publishes essays such as Alex Pareene’s “Bitch McConnell: A Life,” among other luminary contributions, and I wiped my brow in relief.

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I’m sure others in this goodbye post will make fun of Libby for being British, but I am here to say: Libby is extremely British. Crumpets, much?? Love your cat much? Write incisive, poignant stories on the abomination of the U.S. healthcare system, much? Huh, bitch???

Cheers to Libby, who will hopefully be making enough money at her new perch to buy Digby all the pizza she wants; with enough free time to watch Zelda speed-runs and Simpsons reruns at her leisure; and paid time off to visit her loser friend in Chicago, all while continuing her ongoing eugenics campaign against the nation’s songbirds. All hail Libby!!!!

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Rafi Schwartz, Senior Writer at Splinter

Libby Watson scares the shit out of me. Not only is she a frighteningly talented writer, but she’s also ruthless when it comes to posting pictures of desserts she’s baked. Interestingly, she’s never once offered to share any of it with me. What gives? Good riddance, I say. Let her tease her new coworkers with the unfulfilled promise of tarts and pies they’ll never get to eat, and see how they like it. I suppose I should mention Digby, her cat, too. There, I’ve done it.

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