Melania's Deadbeat Husband Didn't Get Her a Birthday Gift

Our POTUS (the P stands for “Potato”) Donald Trump is a busy guy. Busy from his harrowing interaction with Kanye West, now paying off an eternal mortgage in the sunken place. Busy trying to kiss on his French guests during his very first state visit. And apparently too busy to do something nice for his wife’s birthday. That’s right, definitely successful person Melania Trump turns 48 today, and despite being front and center during the state visit, it looks like she’s been sidelined for her very own big day.

During his absolutely incoherent telephone appearance on Fox & Friends this morning, the president admitted that he didn’t get his own wife anything special for her birthday, unless you consider a birthday message on Fox & Friends special or even palatable. “I better not get into that because I may get into trouble,” he said. “Maybe I didn’t get her so much. You know, I’m very busy to be running out looking for presents, OK? I got her a beautiful card and some beautiful flowers.”

He added that he did the Fox & Friends interview because it was his wife’s birthday, which is something that someone in a very happy and healthy relationship says when they definitely remember their wife’s birthday and also when their wife, who is not at all humiliated by this Stormy Daniels thing, loves them very much. “I picked a very, very special day because it’s Melania’s birthday so I said, let’s do it on Melania’s birthday,” Trump said. “So happy birthday to Melania.”

To be fair, while Melania Trump clearly has no problem spending money that isn’t hers to avoid her husband, who knows if she would have even accepted a gift from him? The man had to beg her with his pinky finger to hold his hand earlier this week. Anyway, I hope Melania, a proud and active supporter of the racist birther “movement” and a complicit part of Trump’s continued degradation of America, is having a nice day wherever she is.