Quick note on that Carter Reynolds video: 'I'm really uncomfortable' is not consent
LatestIn case you’ve been wondering why “Carter” has been trending on Twitter in the U.S., congratulations—you are old. Put this paper bag over your head before it spreads.
The trending topic has to do with Carter Reynolds, an amorphously famous Internet Teen™ with millions of followers on Vine, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram.
A NSFW video of Reynolds and ex-girlfriend Maggie Lindemann, who also has a substantial social-media following, began gaining traction on Twitter early Monday morning. The clip appears to show Reynolds, naked from the waist down, as he engages in the following exchange with Lindemann:
Maggie: This makes me so uncomfortable.
Carter: Do it.
Maggie: I’m really uncomfortable.
Carter: Stop, stop. Just act like [the camera isn’t] there.
Maggie: Carter, that’s a giant lie.
Carter: [laughs] Want me to shut the light off?
Maggie: I don’t think I can.
Carter: Want me to shut the light off?
Maggie: I don’t think I can.
Carter: Oh my gosh, Maggie, oh my gosh.
He has since tweeted that his Twitter account was “hacked” and that he’s “going to explain everything.” Lindemann has yet to comment on the video.
Reynolds is of age, but the Irish Independent reports that Lindemann is only 17—reason enough to ignore the video completely.
But there is at least one important lesson that can be gleaned from the clip, and that lesson boils down to the concept of consent. What it looks like, and what it doesn’t.
Consent is an agreement all people involved in a sexual act make to have sex, hook up, kiss—whatever. Consent can be verbal, or it can be based on physical cues; the point is that consent is about communication and respecting the signals your partner is (or partners are) sending you.
Here are some ways to know that your partner is giving you their consent:
• They say, “yes.”
• They say, “I would like to do the sex.”
• They leave a burning paper bag on your front step. After stamping out the flames, you realize that there is a flame-retardant strip of metal buried underneath the smoldering ashes that reads: “I consent.”
Here are some ways to know that your partner is not giving you their consent:
• They say, “no.”
• They say, “This makes me so uncomfortable.”
• They say, “I’m really uncomfortable.”
• They say, “I don’t think I can.”
• They pull away from you.
• They excuse themselves to use the restroom and re-emerge five minutes later looking like:
For more information about consent and how to know if your partner has (or partners have) given it to you, one of many online resources you might want to check out is RAINN’s “What Consent Looks Like” guide.
Bad at filling out bios seeks same.