American Horror Story: Hotel checked in on FX last night, and for the most part, I have no idea what is happening. The titular hotel's guests include possible vampires, possible ghost children, a possible succubus, multiple junkies, multiple flesh-creatures, and one Lady Gaga.
[Beware, Little Monsters: This post contains spoilers.]
But even as horror after horror unfolded within the walls of the Hotel Cortez throughout the pilot, I couldn't shake the feeling that I would love to stay there. I'm sorry, but this set is just too beautiful. If I happen to be brutally murdered by a supernatural force during the course of my visit, I can complain to TripAdvisor about it later.
The lobby alone—which is somehow pristine despite the fact that the hotel's three employees seem to spend most of their time hanging around looking creepy—is a work of art.
To say nothing of the unmanned yet meticulously stocked bar!
Art Deco details everywhere you look!
Top-of-the-line elevator technology!
Spacious suites!
Beautiful carpets!
Kitschy cigarette machines!
Gorgeous headboards!
Elegant European tile!
Convenient ounder-bed storage!
Luxurious circular beds!
Ballrooms for hosting corporate events and weddings!
Ample vanity lighting in every bathroom!
Grand staircases!
Breathtaking city views!
Clock radios!
Molly Fitzpatrick is senior editor of Fusion's Pop & Culture section. Her interests include movies about movies, TV shows about TV shows, and movies about TV shows, but not so much TV shows about movies.