Redskins say the government can't call their name offensive if they're okay with 'WHORES FROM HELL'

The NFL’s Washington Redskins have been embroiled in an argument over the offensiveness of their name for years and years and years with all sorts of people—Redskins fans, NFL fans, reasonable human beings, and, more recently, the federal government. In July, federal district court judge Gerald Lee Bruce upheld a previous ruling to cancel the Redskins’ federal trademark registrations in July because, as Bruce wrote, the name Redskins “‘may disparage’ Native Americans and bring them into contempt or disrepute.”

Today, the Redskins have their response. It involves HOT OCTOPUSS anti-premature ejaculation creams and MILF weed bags. Via the Washington Post:

Nearly four months after a federal judge ordered the cancellation of the Washington Redskins’ federal trademark registrations for disparaging Native Americans, the National Football League team is appealing with a provocative tactic: listing the names of porn, clothing and beer companies that use offensive language, but nonetheless have the support of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

On page 24 of the lawsuit, which can be read in full here, the team’s lawsuit lays bare their profanity-laden argument:

No one today thinks registration reflects government approval. But if this Court holds that it does, how will the government explain registrations like MARIJUANA FOR SALE, CAPITALISM SUCKS DONKEY BALLS, LICENSED SERIAL KILLER, YID DISH, DIRTY WHOOORE CLOTHING COMPANY, and MURDER 4 HIRE?

But they don’t just stop there. There’s also a footnote:

Other startling examples that would reflect government endorsement under the decision below include: SHANK THE B!T@H board game; CRACKA AZZ SKATEBOARDS; ANAL FANTASY COLLECTION, KLITORIS, and OMAZING SEX TOYS sex toys; HOT OCTOPUSS anti-premature ejaculation creams; OL GEEZER wines; EDIBLE CROTCHLESS GUMMY PANTIES lingerie; WTF WORK? online forum; MILF WEED bags; GRINGO STYLE SALSA; MAKE YOUR OWN DILDO; GRINGO BBQ; CONTEMPORARY NEGRO, F’D UP, WHITE TRASH REBEL, I LOVE VAGINA, WHITE GIRL WITH A BOOTY, PARTY WITH SLUTS, CRIPPLED OLD BIKER BASTARDS, DICK BALLS, and REDNECK ARMY apparel; OH! MY NAPPY HAIR shampoos; REFORMED WHORES and WHORES FROM HELL musical bands; LAUGHING MY VAGINA OFF entertainment; NAPPY ROOTS records; BOOTY CALL sex aids; BOYS ARE STUPID, THROW ROCKS AT THEM wallets; and DUMB BLONDE hair products. Word limits prevent us from listing more.

You hear that? They could totally keep going, if they wanted to. It’s just, you know, word counts.

Michael Rosen is a reporter for Fusion based out of Oakland.