Remember the Time Steve Doocy Tried to Roast A Marshmallow With His Gotdang Hand?

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“Anybody got a stick?”

On Wednesday, the Fox News anchors Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade did what they do best and made an incredible amount of money to say some incredibly stupid things. This time around, the inane comments came in the form of Kilmeade stating his belief that Robert Mueller does not know what is in the Mueller Report. It was a spectacular claim, but not really the kind that raises to the level of a blog.


What absolutely does, however, is a nine-year-old clip historian Kevin Kruse reminded his followers of—or in my case, introduced to—and readers, holy shit does it deliver. The headline is really all the setup you need for this one. Enjoy:

It’s hard to pick a favorite moment from this, but I’ve done my best to rank them below. You can, and should, let me know how your rankings shake out.

  1. “Ouch! Ouch!”
  2. “We always have marshmallows in Washington.”
  3. “Can we get a stick? Anybody got a stick?”
  4. “No, no, no! Not plastic!”
  5. Kilmeade knocking Doocy’s tiny mallows into the tiny gas fire pit.
  6. Chris Wallace relentlessly roasting the hosts for being “a bunch of dopes” and breaking down the entire setup so brutally and disdainfully that, for a moment, I really liked Chris Wallace!
  7. Gretchen Carson’s repeated attempts to be considered The Grown Up and “talk politics” with Wallace while also participating in whatever ice-house routine was going on
  8. “Everybody’s afraid to cross Wallace because...he’s got his hair parted”
  9. “I don’t want to go out on a Friday as a dope”