NBC via Getty Images
NBC via Getty Images

If you've ever had a roommate, you probably have a horror story. That's to be expected when sharing a living space with a complete stranger. And at this point in the school year, the roomie honeymoon phase is coming to an end and your bunkmate's true colors start shining through.

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Sure, at first, Jack seemed like a regular guy with a penchant for unhealthy delivery food.

That was before the sex scarecrow filled with Chinese noodles popped up.

But roommate horror stories are a two way street. Because somewhere out there, your former roommate is telling a room full of people about the time he walked in on you, laying in his bed, dressed in all his clothes.

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So instead of bitching about the indiscretions of former housemates, let's use this time to think: what's the worst thing you ever did to your roommate?

Here are some confessions from Whisper, the anonymous secret-sharing app, to get you started. Each will be placed into one of three categories (explained below): "Perfect Strangers," "The Odd Couple" and "Single White Female".

1) Perfect Strangers

These roomie hijinks are TGIF-friendly, good-natured and/or well-deserved, and are intended to cause minimal harm. Think passed-out body art, or feeding Cousin Larry's keys to a goat.

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leave lines of flour on his desk before his parents came round
Deleted all her music from her laptop and replaced it with several Kidz Bop albums.
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I hid outside her bedroom door early one morning with an airhorn. As soon as she opened her door to walk out, I let it rip. Luckily we're still friends.
They wouldn't stop eating all the food I would buy for my daycare kids so I made laxative brownies and wrote a note do not eat! They took the whole plate! Hahaha That should teach them not to be a dick!
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duck taped him to the ceiling after he passed out drunk

*unclear on how this is possible

Well, this was me.
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I covered his entire bed with ice cubes. He got drunk and didnt look before he laid down, he had ice everywhere
-Rotten potatoes under the bed -kool aid in the shower head -cayenne pepper in peanut butter -superglued all things on his desk -took house key out of keychain -put dirt in coffee bag The list goes on. Ah college...
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She ate my cookies, I ate her entire birthday cake. No one touches my food.

2) The Odd Couple

These Oscar and Felix moments are mostly just sweet and good natured, and barely count as pranks. Dropping a toothbrush on the ground and not washing it? If these are the worst things you've ever done, I'd like to have you as a roommate.

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I turned off the light while he was in the bathroom.
When I lived in the dorms, my roommate and I didn't have a vacuum, so she used to pick little things up off the floor by hand on her side of the room... When she wasn't home, I used to throw little bits of stuff onto her side of the room.
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banged on pots and pans all night long singing "I would walk 500 miles" by the proclaimers with a bunch of friends. DA-DA-DADA
Turn on the loud dishwasher @ 6AM bc he was being loud all night & kept me up on a school night.
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She pissed me off so I threw her expensive textbook in the trash. She still wonders what happened to it.
I killed her plant
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3) Single White Female

Treading into purely psychotic territory, the perpetrators of these roommate crimes should seek help immediately. If you can relate to any of the confessions in this category, you are not fit to live with another human being and should be locked up or stabbed to death by Bridget Fonda.

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Spent a week catching spiders and put them in her bed. She was stealing money from me and lying about it ๐Ÿ˜’
While he's sleeping I hopped on his bed and before that drew something on his face and when he woke up I broke an egg and puffed baby powder on his face and he swallowed some accidentally I'm a girl
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Shaved her eyebrow off in her sleep.
I put soap in her ocean spray and sent her to the hospital....
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had sex on her bed & broke it.  I also put Nair in her bottle of conditioner

For more roommate confessions, try Whisper here.

Alexandra DiPalma is a producer for Fusion Lightworks, Fusionโ€™s In-house Branded Content Agency.

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