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Faced with a wave of sexual assault allegations ranging from “icky” to “criminally abhorrent,” disgraced former judge and Alabama Republican Party standard-bearer Roy Moore would like the voting public to know that, actually, he’s a great guy!

In a new campaign ad that sounds like a cross between a used car commercial and an “in a world...” movie trailer, Moore’s camp insists there hasn’t been “a hint of scandal” over the course of his ignominious career. Any attempts to smear him as such, they claim, are the work of congressional Democrats, and also Republican Senator Mitch McConnell who is wearing a crown for some reason. Take a look:

Of course, during Moore’s career in public service, he:

....Oh, and was reportedly a well known creeper around teenage girls, many of whom have now accused him of sexual misconduct.

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But hey, not a hint of scandal, right?