Photo: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)

I wish I loved anything as much as former New York City Mayor and current presidential lawyer Rudy Giuliani seems to love humiliating himself in public.

Speaking with Politico late Tuesday evening, Giuliani responded to MSNBC host and fellow bad person Joe Scarborough’s allegations that he was “losing it,” couldn’t stay awake in meetings, and had been passed over for an official administration position due to a drinking problem by going on an, um, interesting rant.

Here is his totally-not-losing-it response:

None of that is true. I’m not sleeping now. I’m in Dallas. I’m wide awake. I’ve handled numerous cases including some sensitive cyber matters. I’m a lot more aware and intelligent than Joe has ever been and a lot more accomplished. Joe hasn’t been knighted by the Queen of England. He hasn’t run a U.S. attorney’s office, much less a city that he turned around or went through 9/11.

He is AWAKE, AWARE, and let’s not forget 9/11!

Giuliani also said, “There’s no proof of any kind that I take too much alcohol. That’s ridiculous.” He admitted, however, that he could not remember whether he’d been carousing at a cigar bar called the Grand Havana Room before or after his infamous Sean Hannity interview (Politico reported that he’d been seen there).

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“I sometimes go before,” he said. “I sometimes go after.”

And before you say, “Well, that’s a pretty weak explanation from someone who is clearly in way over his head here,” just remember that Rudy is a knight who handles some sensitive cyber matters. So show some goddamned RESPECT, people!