Rudy Giuliani Throws Shit At Wall, Hopes It Sticks

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When last we saw lukewarm attorney and presidential whipping boy Rudy Giuliani, it was just before everyone left for the holidays, and he was doing what he tends to do best: Make a complete and total fool of himself for no apparent reason other than he’s just not very good at his job.

Well, Christmas is over, 2019 is right around the corner, and I’m sorry to report that Rudy remains fully committed to showing his whole ass.

In a shambolic interview with The Hill, Giuliani claimed that actually, Special Counsel Robert Mueller is the one who should really be investigated:

Mueller should be investigated for destruction of evidence for allowing those text messages from Strzok to be erased, messages that would show the state of mind and tactics of his lead anti-Trump FBI agent at the start of his probe.


The “text messages” in question are a series of back and forths between Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, two former FBI officials who have somehow become the GOP’s most feared deep state boogymen. And while some 19,000 of their text messages were, in fact, temporarily lost, an Office of the Inspector General report concluded that the culprit was actually a technical glitch in the FBI’s own data capture software, and the texts in question were subsequently found. Other text messages sent on a different government-issued phone given to Strzok were lost when the device was wiped before being reassigned to a different person. However, a special counsel official had reviewed the phone before it was restored to factory settings and determined that “it contained no substantive text messages.

So, Rudy’s “theory,” if you want to charitably call it that, is total nonsense. Which, of course, didn’t stop Giuliani from saying it out loud. “That should be investigated, damn it, that should be investigated fully,” he insisted to The Hill. “You want a special counsel, get one for that.”


By now, it’s pretty clear that Giuliani’s job is less to provide adequate—or even remotely sane—legal advice to his client, and more to muddy the waters as much as humanly possible to make any actual legal outcomes of the Mueller investigation as convoluted as possible.

Mazal tov, Rudy. You’ve truly found your place in this crazy world of ours.