Sarah Palin's endorsement of Donald Trump, presented as Walt Whitman poetry
LatestOn Monday night, Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump with a speech. Many critics derided this speech as “rambling” and “insane.”
These critics are wrong. With a little proper formatting, this speech was poetry, in the tradition of Walt Whitman.
Behold, the Whitmanesque poetry of Sarah Palin’s endorsement of Donald Trump:
I Sing the Body Apoplectic
We all have a part in this, we all have a responsibility.
Looking around at all of you, you hard-working Iowa families.
You farm families! And teachers! And teamsters! And cops, and cooks!
You rockin’ rollers! And holy rollers!
All of you who work so hard,
You full-time moms!
You, with the hands that rock the cradle!
You all make the world go round,
and now,
Our cause is one!
Clingers! O Clingers!
What the heck would the establishment know about conservatism?
Tell me, is this conservative? GOP majorities handing over a blank check to fund Obamacare,
And Planned Parenthood,
And illegal immigration that competes for your jobs,
And turning safety nets into hammocks,
And all these new Democrat voters that are going to be coming on over border
As we keep the borders open,
And bequeathing our children millions in new debt,
And refusing to fight back for our solvency,
And our sovereignty,
Even though that’s why we elected them and sent them as a majority to DC?
No!
If they’re not willing to do that,
Then how are they to tell us that we’re not conservative enough?
Who are they to say that?
Oh tell somebody
Like, Phyllis Schlafly,
She is the Republican,
Conservative movement icon
And hero
And a Trump supporter.
Tell her she’s not conservative.
How ‘bout the rest of us?
Right wingin’,
Bitter clingin’,
Proud clingers of our guns,
Our god,
And our religions,
And our Constitution.
Tell us that we’re not red enough?
Yeah, coming from the establishment.
Right.
When I heard the Learn’d Political Brand Consultant
When asked why I would jump into a primary
— kind of stirring it up a little bit maybe —
And choose one over some friends who are running
(and I’ve endorsed a couple others
In their races before they decided to run for president)
I was told left and right,
“You are going to get so clobbered in the press.
You are just going to get beat up,
And chewed up,
And spit out.”
You know, I’m thinking: “And?”
You know,
Like you guys haven’t tried to do that every day
Since that night in ‘08,
When I was on stage nominated for VP,
And I got to say, “Yeah, I’ll go, send me, you betcha.”
“I’ll serve.”
And,
Like you all,
I’m still standing.
You’re here!
And you’re putting your efforts!
You’re putting reputations!
You’re putting relationships on the line to do the right thing for this country!
Because you are ready
To make!
America!
Great again!
Song of Trumpself
He’s not an elitist.
He tells us Joe six packs,
He said, “You know, I’ve worked very, very hard. And I’ve succeeded. Hugely I’ve succeeded.”
He says.
And he says, “I want you to succeed too.”
And that is refreshing, because he, as he builds things,
He builds big things, things that touch the sky, big infrastructure that puts other people to work.
He has spent his life looking up
And respecting the hard-hats
And the steel-toed boots
And the work ethic that you all have within you.
He, being an optimist,
Passionate about equal-opportunity to work.
The self-made success of his,
You know that he doesn’t get his power,
His high,
Off of OPM,
Other people’s money, like a lot of dopes in Washington do.
Well, he doesn’t do that.
His power, his passion, is the fabric of America.
And it’s woven by work ethic
And dreams and drive and faith
In the Almighty. What a combination!
Parting Words
Now, finally friends,
I want you to try to picture this.
It’s a nice thing to picture.
Exactly one year from tomorrow, former President Barack Obama.
He packs up the teleprompters
And the selfie-sticks,
And the Greek columns,
And all that hopeychangey stuff
And he heads on back to Chicago,
Where I’m sure he can find some community there to organize again.
There, he can finally look up,
President Obama will be able to look up,
And there, over his head,
He’ll be able to see that shining, towering, Trump tower.
Yes, Barack, he built that.
And that says a lot.
Iowa, you say a lot,
Being here tonight,
Supporting the right man who will allow you to make America great again.
God bless you!
God bless the United States of America!
And our next president of the United States!
Donald J. Trump!
Actual speech edited lightly for clarity. Thanks to BuzzFeed’s Kyle Blaine for the transcription.