Here is a real and true paragraph from the Washington Post published today, June 4, 2018 (emphasis mine):
In mid-September, the Environmental Protection Agency administrator’s director of scheduling and advance, Millan Hupp, reached out to the Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C., with an unusual request. Hupp wanted to know how much the hotel would charge EPA chief Scott Pruitt for purchasing one of its used mattresses.
What? Pardon? Excuse me?
According to the Post, that put-upon EPA official described in a recent interview with House investigators, who are looking into Pruitt’s flair for spending as EPA chief, how the quest for the mattress—specifically the “Trump Home Luxury Plush Euro Pillow Top”—was just “one of several unusual tasks she performed for the administrator.” Pruitt is currently facing at least 10 investigations, which perhaps explains why he needed such a good night’s sleep. After all, I hear the mattresses are great.
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This is not the most important way in which the Trump presidency has both exposed and expanded America’s tacky and absurd streak, but it is, perhaps, the most viscerally gross to think about, maybe aside from the Famous Tape we all know exists. Imagine Scott Pruitt’s tired old body, a thin layer of sweat on his pale skin, sinking into a Trump Home Luxury Plush, the Euro Pillow Top already coated with untold dozens of individuals’ skin particles. You have to imagine that, because the news made you. It made me imagine that, and now you do, too. Have a blessed day.