Self-Professed 'Bad Husband' Eminem Is on Tinder, Ladies

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If you’re perusing Tinder and within 100 miles of Eminem, you might come across his profile. You might be tempted to swipe right. As a person who fantasized about hate-fucking him in high school, I sympathize. It’d be a good story, he has at least one diamond-encrusted cock ring, and that one sex scene in 8 Mile is kind of hot. But before you do, please be advised that he might:

On a positive note, he hates his Trump supporter fans; he’s sorry, Kim; and he has pledged to “aim his fist at the drywall” next time. Happy swiping!