Some Kids Who Inherited Billions Saying Dumbass Things, Obliviously? Give It To Me!

Susanne and Werner Klatten
Photo: Getty

What’s this—an interview of a couple of billionaire heirs in a “safe” publication in which they fuck up and say some dumb ass class war shit? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That’s the shit I like, to read.

Sometimes you hear about “reclusive” billionaires. These are the smart ones. Billionaires are evil. As an evil billionaire, why remind the world of the existence? Shut up and enjoy your cocaine yacht, idiot. Fortunately for us, the angry proles, some billionaires make the stupid mistake of talking to the press at times—about money issues! We all benefit by getting to enjoy a moment of laughter at their callous and clueless demonstration of the emptiness of the concept of capitalism as a meritocracy. Then we all stop laughing and go back to work, and they go back to their cocaine yachts.

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But one day we will come for them.

Anyhow, Bloomberg has done us all the public service of flagging this interview in the German publication “Manager Magazin”—and no, we do not know what that may mean, in English—with Susanne Klatten and Stefan Quandt, the billionaire brother and sister team who inherited a huge chunk of BMW.

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So that’s why they’re billionaires. They inherited it. Got it? Okay. Now, Bloomberg with the helpful translation:

“Many believe that we are permanently sitting around on a yacht in the Mediterranean,” Klatten [NET WORTH: $18 BILLION+] told Manager Magazin in a rare interview with her younger brother published Thursday. “The role as a guardian of wealth also has personal sides that aren’t so nice.”

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Lmao. Yeah I bet. I just bet. Please continue.

“For both of us, it’s certainly not the money that drives us,” said Quandt [NET WORTH: $15 BILLION+]. “Above all, it is the responsibility of securing jobs in Germany.”

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Lmao. Sure my man. Right on. This is the good stuff. Anything else?

Klatten, who gained notoriety in 1978 when police foiled a plot to kidnap her and her mother Johanna, said that wealth redistribution doesn’t work and that a fair society allows people to pursue opportunities according to their abilities.

“Our potential stems from the role of being an heir and developing that,” she said. “We work hard on that every day.”

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I LOVE IT. Yes. Hell yes. Mmmm, that’s the good stuff. Working hard on developing that heir-ness. Just like Michael Jordan! They’re the Michael Jordans of having everything given to them!

The satisfaction I derive from this cheap mockery will momentarily help me forget that they are our unchallenged rulers.

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About the author

Hamilton Nolan

Senior Writer. Hamilton@SplinterNews.com