Imagine he’s singing here.
Photo: Getty

Dental hygiene enthusiast Beto O’Rourke is trying to raise his profile in all the ways that someone positioning for a 2020 run might. A presidential campaign (if not in 2020, perhaps in 2024) feels inevitable, if deeply misguided. What remains to be seen is what his “Fight Song”—the saccharine pop song Hillary Clinton drilled into everyone’s heads in 2016—will be.

So, like any thought leader, I posed the question on Twitter. My idea? Something rap-rock-musical adjacent, like some bars from a Hamilton knockoff.

But my followers had even better ideas. Close your eyes and imagine Democratic presidential candidate (nominee? could be) Beto taking the stage to any of these instantly iconic, self-parodying anthems. Dog shit white guy band Imagine Dragons, perhaps??

Barenaked Ladies supercut??


An anthem that shows it pays to get woke??

Indie rock cred for dads who still it’s 2004??


Something for him to hit the half pipe to??

Oh no??


A sampling of other responses I’ve deemed Good:


And one I’ve deemed Bad:

What song might we very well be treated to constantly for the next two years? Add yours in the comments!