Not today’s weather, that’s for sure.
Photo: Getty

Today it is supposed to reach 91 degrees in New York. When I woke up in my bed this morning I was sweating. I am also sweating now, as I write this blog, maybe because I am still in my bed. I will sweat on my commute to the office and I will sweat when I am at the office because (I assume) our building has not yet adjusted its apparently very delicate temperature control system for this mid-August weather. This is fine, I’m not blaming anyone, but it is still only May fucking third.

Some of you will point out that we were all complaining about how cold it was just, like, a week ago. Yes, it was too cold then. Now it is too hot. That’s just calling it like it is. The real question is: Whatever happened to MEDIUM weather?? Do we not deserve at least a full two weeks with a mildly warm-but-dry spring breeze?

I polled my colleagues at Splinter to see what they thought was the ideal temperature. We (mostly) agreed: It is too fucking hot today.

Libby Watson: “75 is the best temperature” and “i want there to be zero chance of being cold at any point.”

Isha Aran: “i like somewhere between 68 and sunny to 75?” and adds “like i can do high 70s if it’s dry.”

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Rafi Schwartz: “73”

Dave Uberti: “78”

Clio Chang: “72”

Caitlin Schneider: “yesterday: too hot” and “today: too hot”

Katherine Krueger: “72-75 tops”

Jack Mirkinson: “yesterday amazing” and “today too hot”

Alex Pareene: failed to weigh in on a perfect temperature but did point out “when you’re too hot what are you gonna do take your SKIN off gimme a break”

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Nona Willis Aronowitz: “yesterday was perfect”

Hamilton Nolan: “90”

Aleksander Chan: “best temp is 70-75”

Molly Osberg: