Wanted: 1 Olympic Athlete to Scale Trump's Ridiculous Border Wall
Christmas morning is a time when a lot of people open presents, sleep off hangovers, or just kind of go about their…
Merry Christmas to the Extremists
It’s funny, the disconnect between the things that we say we value, and the people that we treat as valuable.
Here's a Very Very Very Very Stupid Fox News Segment About 'Gingerbread Men'
As gender-neutral pronouns, the war on Christmas, and the evil of political correctness threaten our nation, Fox News…
What Even Is This AP Story About the Pence Family's Christmas Decorations
Twas a week before Christmas, when all through the house, the Associated Press was following Karen Pence around for a…
The White House Media Christmas Party Is Finally Dead
The access-humpers will have to find somewhere else to dine and schmooze this holiday season.
Sorry Don Jr., You Can't Meme Your Way Into Your Father's Heart
Donald Trump Jr., the slightly less embarrassing of the two large adult First Sons, posted on Instagram this Tuesday to…
Here's a Good Protest Idea
In Wisconsin yesterday, protesters booed the hell out of evil white bastard Scott Walker as he attempted to light the…
Shameless Zealot Thanks Trump for Bringing Christmas Back to America
During last night’s CHRISTMAS tree—triggered much, libs??—lighting ceremony at the White House, renowned grifter and…
Splinter Says: No Christmas Before Thanksgiving!
Here is a rule that I am extremely passionate about: you cannot celebrate Christmas before Thanksgiving. Don’t do it!
These People Got Bitcoin, a Wise and Sensible Investment, for Christmas
How’d y’all do on your Christmas shopping this year? Nice hand cream for your aunt? Some smartphone-compatible gloves…
Please Join Me In Enjoying Larry King's 2012 Christmas Special, Starring Larry King's Family and Featuring Billy Bush
“Welcome to a very Larry Christmas, starring my wife Shawn, my sons Chance and Cannon.” This is how Larry King begins…
Look at the Absurdly Large Christmas Card Donald Trump Sent to Congress
Christmas cards are the worst of all Christmas traditions, and I say this as a person who comes from a country where a…
Area Veteran and His Teenage Son Celebrate Christmas the Correct Way
This holiday season, like many American families, the Ruibals peppered their home in Greely, Colorado, with whimsical…
Nicaragua Taught Me to Laugh at Donald Trump
Donald Trump stopped being funny a long time ago. Maybe he never was. But I still laugh at him anyway.
Paul Ryan Attempts Twitter Joke, Ruins Christmas Instead
If Donald Trump wasn’t actively insulting people on Twitter everyday, House Speaker Paul Ryan’s Tuesday tweet on…
Melania Trump Assures Us We're Going to Have a Very, Very, Very White Christmas This Year
On Monday, First Lady Melania Trump unveiled the White House’s Christmas theme—“Time-Honored Traditions.” And, judging…
22 people who got real weird with the Elf on the Shelf this year
The Elf on the Shelf is a goddamned Christmas mystery to me: I am much too old to have experienced this adorable…
Inside the 1990 Frederick's of Hollywood Christmas catalog
What was Christmas like twenty-five years ago? In the pages of the Frederick's of Hollywood catalog, it was hot. The…
Bah Herbug! A history of female Scrooges
Since its 1843 publication, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol—in which Ebenezer Scrooge, a cruel miser, is shown the…
A disturbing evening spent preparing vintage Christmas recipes
On the first day of Christmas, my true love baked for me: a deviled ham sandwich tree.