Why did Republican Sen. Richard Burr issue his surprise subpoena for Don Jr. to testify before the Senate Intelligence Committee? Because, according to CNN, Donj had initially agreed to appear, and then chickened out twice because he “expected a much shorter followup interview than proposed by the committee.” Bummer!

Here we have CPAC’s marquee event, the John S. McCain Memorial Failson Symposium, complete with criminally unfunny jokes from Donj and Jerry Falwell Jr. implying he will shoot with a gun anyone who tries to take any of his one hundred cows. The fun never stops.