Forty years ago today, BusinessWeek ran a famous cover story declaring “The Death of Equities.” Since then, equities have risen by 7,000%. That’s “kind of embarrassing,” the magazine admits. Points for honesty.

Uber, a machine for using investment money to artificially subsidize car rides, lost more than $5 billion last quarter. Heh. It’s gonna crash and burn before it destroys public transportation after all! Calling it now. Invest in buses.

New research shows that being bought by private equity firms raises a large public company’s probability of bankruptcy by 1000%. Best of luck to our friends at Univision.

Thanks to persistent low unemployment, labor’s share of income, which has been declining for decades due to capital’s victorious class war, could finally be set to rise—“and that could spell trouble for corporate profit margins and the share prices that are ultimately dependent on them.” GOOD.

This Wall Street Journal story about the gilded underworld of “site selectors,” the consultants who help corporations milk state and local governments for subsidies, is an excellent demonstration of why the entire practice should be illegal.

Today, for the first time since 2007, the yield curve inverted, which traditionally signals a looming recession. “Yield curve inversion.” Practice saying this as you stand on the unemployment line. Sounds smart.