Tanks Go Home

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A feeling that has become familiar to many of us since November 2016: Oh my God, this is really happening? I did not dream [insane thing I read on Twitter]? No, sweetie, you didn’t: Trump really is bringing in the tanks for his big, corrupt July 4th celebration, and they’re here.

If you live in D.C., you may have seen the tanks being brought into town on Tuesday night, as did this gentleman:


WTOP reported that one of the Bradleys (which, according to Splinter’s resident War Dad Jack Crosbie, is not a tank but an “infantry fighting vehicle,” which sounds a lot like a damn tank to me) was parked Tuesday night on the National Mall, near the Lincoln Memorial. Other tanks were brought into the city via the railroads.

As a resident of Washington, D.C., allow me to say: Tanks go home! Do not want these big bastard tanks in my damn backyard! Get tae fuck! No tanks here!


What does having tanks displayed on the National Mall on July 4th say to the rest of the world? The message is clear: America big beefy boy. Strong, will kill you, roll over your village. Look how many strong big boy tanks I’ve got. More tanks than you. Bigger tanks than you. I am President Strong.

Obviously, spending literally any money on this farce is embarrassing, but as HuffPost’s Matt Fuller points out, it’s nothing compared to what we spend on the military. If you oppose Trump but haven’t really thought about what it means to spend $700 billion every year on the military under presidents of both parties, perhaps the sight of these big stupid war machines on the National Mall will help you realize what a waste it all is.


There’s not a lot to be proud of this Fourth of July, and it’s especially grueling to see this display of empty bravado about America’s empire of death. But maybe if you live in D.C. and you’re upset about it, you could donate to RAICES or Border Angels, have a beer, and go flip off a tank. Be the America you wish the rest of the world to see.