The only thing that Ted Cruz loves more than Donald Trump's deal with Carrier that will save a whopping 730 American jobs is cheese dip. Specifically Texas queso dip, that heady mix of Velveeta, canned peppers, and other bold flavors native to the Southwest.
In a newly posted video shot today during a meeting Cruz and other Senate Republicans who got together to decide once and for all whether queso from Texas was better than its competition hailing from Arkansas, Cruz waxed poetic, and disgusting, about his favored dip.
When asked just what specifically about Texas queso that he loved so much, Cruz explained to the Dallas Morning News that consuming the sauce was a "visceral, emotional, powerful" experience for him.
"Look, cheese dip can be served on a ritz cracker, or with one of those tiny Vienna sausages,” Cruz said. “Queso is made to be scooped up with tortilla chips, dribbling down your chin and onto your shirt."
As anyone who has ever actually eaten nachos can tell you, while it's possible that nacho cheese may make its way onto your face and clothing while eating it, it isn't supposed to dribble down your chin in the eerily erotic way that Cruz described while pantomiming sauce dripping down his face and neck.
As video of Cruz's ode to queso began to make its way around the web, people were quick to explain to him how his fondness for the dip was coming across as unintentionally sexual and, you know, ruining cheese for the rest of us:
@jrud @tedcruz The most passionate and believable speeches of Lyin Ted's career.
— Don't Tread on Memes (@igoturbluntola) December 7, 2016
As off-putting as Cruz's love for molten cheese running down his face may be, we've got to bear in mind that this is a man who's been open about his disdain for avocados—proof positive that he's probably the Zodiac killer.