Once you've been to a few fairs during Art Basel week in Miami, wandering aimlessly through mazes of gallery booths, you go into a delirious state. The over-saturation of art often leads you to question the definition of art itself.
You also start to laugh. And possibly cry (especially when you see the price tags.) You find yourself rolling your eyes and thinking "Oh God, can you BE more Basel!?" Here are some of those is-this-really-art-slash-real-life moments from this year's festivities, the 20 most "Basely" of Art Basel. And yes, while we are pointing out the art world's ridiculousness there is also an inherent snobbishness in judging art, but if you can't buy it or even make it into the collector's lounge, you might as well laugh at it.
1. The "I'm moving out of my apartment, so I feel moved to make this art piece"
…out of the coat I no longer want and a broken cardboard box. Oh look, I spilled some mustard on it too. The concept behind this is so big it doesn't fit in my new apartment.
2. The "Frat house door I stole"
…and decided it was art.
3. The "I'm not sure if this is art or if the gallerist is just an excellent DIY decorator"
…either way I'm kind of into it.
4. The "let's revisit the white painting thing to explore concepts, OK?"
by revisit I mean wrinkle it a little bit, to represent the passage of time…and my self-awareness.
5. The "let me see what I can get away with"
SOMEONE WILL ACTUALLY BUY THIS.
6. Ooooh you're being ironic. I get it now.
but like…did you have to?
7. The "I can't help it. I literally roll around and make art"
Some people are just too talented.
8. The "I don't even know how to explain this without hating the human race."
This artist chased, caught, murdered, stuffed a rat then painted said rat like Pikachu because art told him to. He also filmed the whole process and displayed it next to this yellow corpse because I DON'T KNOW.
9. The "most genius thing I saw all week"
OK, it's trying really really hard to be funny, but it worked.
10. The "art about art about art"
This is literally a giant image made by the artist of a check written to the artist for his art. It's so metta I can't even look at it.
11. The "Is it a party? Is it an advertisement? Is it an "brand activation"? Is it a plane? NO it's art!"
Can I drink one or would that like totally kill your message?
12. The "art emergency"
Alfred, roll me away from the art! It's just all so 5 minutes ago. Sigh.
13. The "I just cant handle this"
I'm a dog. With a pearl necklace. And I don't know which painting to buy. I'm tired take me for a walk so I can "pee on it".
14. The "I'm not really sure who the joke is on with this one…"
I'm not so concerned about who would re-sale this, rather than who would buy this.
15. The "let me make a comment about money in the art world"
by literally gluing money onto the floor so the art world can walk on it. (Also, this is a total rip off of an Empire Records scene.)
16. The "interactive-performance-installation-activation-happening-manifestation piece thing." Hey look at us, we are pushing boundaries!
Medium: people napping with headphones on.
AND I just realized I was making art in pre-school every day after lunch for 30 minutes.
This gem is by super Basel-y human : Marina Abramovic
17. The "really dude?"
Like I get it, you know what memes are, you're not a dinosaur, you're punny, but DUDE. You got me riled up, so does that mean this IS art. AH SAVE ME NAZI ART IS COMING FOR US.
18. The "I couldn't chose what to put in neon lights. So I didn't. But isn't it so art?"
It says "eeny meeny miny mo" by the way…
19. The "I'm above art"
But wait, does that still make it art. Or is this trash? Should I throw it away or am I buying this? I NEED HELP.
20. Ok, I give up. Brain is dead.
This is an actual woman that charges cellphones out of her vagina. Just another day at performance art. It happened and Usher got a few bars out of it.
This little list in no way encompasses all the ridiculous baselness. If you are feeling particularly judgy today and want to appreci-hate art, upload your #mostbaselything to instagram or Twitter. We are in this together, guys.
All photos by Elisa Rodriguez-Vila unless otherwise noted.
Elisa is a designer & illustrator that writes (and doodles) about pop culture, women, diversity and all things art. She is the human behind Fusion's Instagram account and Elvis Presley is her spirit animal.