Let us be blunt (ha), 4/20 is here and that means *ahem* you're gonna need some solid snack options to make it through the day. Even if you decide to bake, you need to have some herb-free junk food as a follow up. Here are the four hundred and twenty best 4/20 snacks, ranked, for your munching pleasure:
420. Warheads - They are a little too sour and small for our liking, but they still made the cut.
419. Jelly Belly jellybeans - Jellybeans are pretty dank, but part of celebrating 420 is the sheer volume of food to consume, and if you eat a handful of random Jelly Bellies, you're gonna get some gross coffee/licorice/bubblegum mashups that aren't too delicious.
418. Buttered popcorn - While popcorn isn't bad, it's pretty salty and drying which isn't gonna do anything for your cotton mouth problems…
417. Jujy Fruits - They're gummy, but they're also not terribly flavorful.
416. Lemonheads - The sourness is appreciated, but the lack of variety won't be able to hold your attention (will anything, though?)
415. Original Pringles - They're fine, really.
414. Oatmeal raisin cookies - Again, fine. Whatevs.
413. Pretzels - At least they're crunchy.
412. Buttered toast - Addictive if toasted properly.
411. Cherry cough drops - Helps lubricate your throat and doesn't taste too terribly medicinal.
410. Neopolitan wafer cookies - Again, these are pretty flavorless and meh, but they'll do the job when the hunger strikes.
409. Fritos - Your stomach doesn't know yet how rock-like corn chips become in dehydrated tummies.
408. Sweet potato fries - They're the dry-hump of health foods, but you'll feel like you're eating a kale salad when you choose these over the regular potato fries.
407. Nerds Rope - It's a really long rope of candy, what do you want me to say? Okay, yes.
406. A single pickle - Sour, quick, you'll laugh cause your fingers got wet.
405. Old leftovers - Is it a burrito? Is it a burger? Are the fries mushed together? Do you really care though???
404. Ring Pop - Sweet. Oversized rings are always funny.
403. Cheesy eggs - Simple, goopy, hot. 👍
402. Blueberry mini-muffins - There's definitely a pack in the back of your pantry.
401. An orange - Juiciness is hella important.
400. String cheese.
399. Packet of cinnamon oatmeal - Quick and it kinda feels like cooking because you're stoned and everything kinda feels like something it isn't.
398. Birthday Cake M&Ms - Arguably the worst of all the specialty M&M's, but still crunchy candies to facilitate your high.
397. Sugar-free caramels - Hard or soft, they do the trick.
396. Cup of applesauce - The cold liquid feels really good, and you're saving at least a few calories by opting for the lighter, fruitier fare.
395. Lemon Starburst - No one's favorite flavor.
394. Mint chocolate chip ice cream - Often runs the risk of tasting like toothpaste, but again, you're doing your very best Towelie imitation right now, so who cares?
393. Oysters - They're only so low on the list because you probably had to leave your house and interact with other humans to get some, which is such a rookie mistake.
392. Apple Jacks cereal - Delicious, but one note.
391. Corn Pops - Ditto.
390. Those strawberry hard candies grandmas always have.
389. Pixie Stix - Because your mouth being a sugary desert is still some kind of experience even if it isn't necessarily a good one.
388. Reheated chicken pot pie - At this point you clearly aren't concerned with actual taste.
387. Club crackers - Buttery, but literally no one's fave.
386. Jug of apple juice - Trust me, you will finish the whole thing, and it will activate your digestive tract. But it will taste better than EVER.
385. Sushi - A real gamble.
384. Frozen burrito - Authenticity be damned, you're starving, bro.
383. Chocolate-covered coffee beans - Even though you feel chill, marijuana can raise your heart rate, so adding caffeine on top is counterintuitive.
382. Cosmic brownies - Let's be real, you're gonna throw down on an entire box of these bitches.
381. Hot dogs - Essentially no prep.
380. That weird candy consisting of colorful bumps on a sheet of paper that taste like chemicals? - Update: they're called candy buttons.
379. Chocolate graham crackers - This sleeper snack is too good.
378. Single slice of American Cheese - Yuck IRL, but yum IWL (in weed life)
377. An overripe banana - You wouldn't eat it under any other circumstance…
376. Handful of peanuts.
375. Nature Valley Granola Bar - Just admit the crumbs will never be cleaned out of your couch cushions.
374. Twizzlers - This low ranking may be controversial, but they don't taste like much and are hella chewy (too hella chewy) to enjoy during this reflective time.
373. Coca-Cola Slurpee - Nary a 7/11 cashier is gonna judge you for being high as a kite.
372. Hunk of white rice.
371. Butter pecan ice cream - When frozen, it can be impossible to scoop. Stay woke.
370. A plum.
369. Vegan cupcakes - Ugh.
368. Fast food salad with a fuckton of ranch dressing.
367. Corn - On a cob. Off a cob. Go wild.
366. Fish sticks - This is the only time it is acceptable to consume them if you're over the age of 12.
365. Razz-ma-tazz - You know, the sour candy that once well-sucked (yeesh) develops a hole that leaks sour powder. Weird, but two snack experiences in one!
364. Whoppers - Cause you really wanted Milk Duds, but you were too high to remember which was which.
363. Burger King Whopper - Ask for cheese. Ask for no onion. Get a couple extra just in case.
362. Cold chicken wings - Good until you sober up and realize you ate the equivalent of like, 15 chickens.
361. Funyuns - Please do not speak out loud or breathe heavily. For all of our sakes.
360. Cottage cheese - Deceptively liquidy. Also: Super dairy stomach cramps on the horizon.
359. Cotton Candy - If you can find it somewhere besides a baseball game or some questionably horrific circus rife with blood clowns, then you deserve it.
358. Oatmeal Creme Pies - Yooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
357. Spaghetti marinara- This is going to be a mess, but the robust marinara and full-fat cheese is a revelation.
356. Wildberry Pop Tarts- Meh.
355. Cap'n Crunch - Super tasty, but the top of your mouth will be wrecked.
354. Spree - Hard candy makes you salivate so your mouth won't feel so ick.
353. Bit-O-Honey - You're going to chew through the bag and wonder what happened to it.
352. Clark bar - Not anyone's favorite candy bar, but it's fine.
351. Honey buns - Sticky fingers because you're a monster trapped on your couch without paper towels, but damn, it's good.
350. Smarties - At least they're cheap.
349. Pancakes - Cooking while stoned is not the safest bet, but if you've got some Bisquick and a little bit of time, you're gonna feel like Emeril in his prime when you pull this off.
348. Chicken McNuggets - Get a 20 piece and go H.A.M.
347. Lay's cheesy garlic bread potato chips - A lot of things at once.
346. Carrots and hummus - Cool until you realize you've eaten 400 carrots and that your body will have to figure out a way to deal with that choice.
345. Regular graham crackers.
344. Ramen Noodles - Hella sodium is gonna give you a headache when you come down, but the noodles are really tender and delicious in the interim.
343. Lay's cheddar bacon mac & cheese potato chips - This abomination was a finalist in the 2014 chip contest. Salty enough. Cheesy enough.
342. Now & Laters - Do you suck em? Do you chew em? Does it matter since you're thinking about what your dog named you???
341. A caramel apple sucker from Halloween - They don't expire.
340. Philly Cheesesteak - Who cares if you got food poisoning that one time? Do it up, homie.
339. A shit ton of garlic bread - Can't go wrong.
338. Caramel corn - It ain't cheese popcorn…
337. Turkey, broccoli & cheddar Hot Pocket - The first of the Hot Pockets on this list.
336. A spoonful of Marshmallow Fluff - You've earned it.
335. Salami, with cream cheese, rolled up - Whoa.
334. McDonald's Apple Pie (4 or more)
333. A red apple - 10 points if you make it into a pipe and then eat it.
332. Chicken curry takeout. Heartburn be damned.
331. Blueberry pie.
330. Wendy's chili - Ask for a packet of sour cream and some extra cheese. 👌
329. Ants on a log - PeeWee would be so proud.
328. Watermelon - 🎶You've been smokin', you been smokin'.🎶
327. Rock candy - You might have to go to a museum to get it, but you'll appreciate the museum way more so win-win.
326. Crab rangoon - Did you know Rangoon was the name of a city? You do now. #stoneyfacts
325. Can of peaches.
323. Rice and beans - Why are they considered a side when they are basically a whole meal?
322. Lunchables ham & cheddar - How is the ham that yummy?
321. FroYo - Not ice cream, but not bad….
320. Chocolate Pop Tarts - All you need is a toaster and Pink Floyd on vinyl.
319. Lemon Oreos - The least delicious of all the new-fangled Oreo flavors.
318. Andes Creme de Menthe - Where the hell did you get these? A doctor's office?
317. Blow Pops - You will 500% cut your tongue on one, but bubble gum is entertaining.
316. Candy necklace/bracelet/bra/thong - Candy underwear is really stupid, but still good to nom.
315. Cherry cheesecake - Perhaps stick to an individual slice or else run the risk of eating every single piece in the tri-state area.
314. Bowl/Box of Kix - Kid tested, stoner approved.
313. A whole bloomin' onion from Outback Steakhouse - Stinky but delicious.
312. Sugar cookies - 10 points if you had some of the Christmas shape ones frozen for the occasion, but regular cookies will do just fine.
311. Fortune cookies - Yay, takeout remnants.
310. Sour Skittles - Ain't nothin like the real thing babayyy, but still sweet enough to drive you cray.
309. Cracker Jacks - You won't care if you ever get back (to the ground since you're high as a kite).
308. Hashbrown casserole - If you're not near a Cracker Barrel, you can always make your own hash browns w/ peppers and onions.
307. Beef with broccoli - Order before you toke so you don't get paranoid when the doorbell rings.
306. Cheese ravioli - Ravioli ravioli — you know the rest.
305. Fruit salad - Juicy in all the right ways. And no regrets.
304. Beef jerky - Isn't beef jerky kinda sweet, and hella savory? The competing flavors are the perfect accompaniment to wondering which letter is silent — the 's' or the 'c' — in "scent."
303. Gummiberry Juice - Bet you forgot.
302. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich - Hey there, slugger. Unless you have a gnarly peanut allergy, some of your favorite memories in life probably center around a time with these crustless wonders.
301. Cheese and crackers - Classic.
300. Pop Rocks - This might make you paranoid or it might make you incredibly happy.
299. Orange Creamsicle - Yes!
298. Raw cookie dough - Should you eat this? No. Will you eat this? probably.
297. Lay's sour cream and onion potato chips - You'll be tasting this flavor for days, but crunching through is an invigorating adventure.
296. Twizzlers Pull-and-Peel - All the flavor regular Twizzlers don't have.
295. Chili cheese flavored Fritos - A big wad of corn chips is gonna have to make it through your digestive tract, but at least these are very flavorful.
294. Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries cereal - Throwback!
293. Honey Bunches of Oats cereal - So sweet and wholesome. Everything in the world can be good if you let it.
292. Full-sugar caramels - Aww yeah.
291. Ranch dressing and anything you can dip in it.
290. Pepperoni Hot Pocket - The second hot pocket to make the cut. This is what would happen if a McDonald's Apple Pie and a piece of pizza procreated.
289. Newer leftovers.
288. Sun Chips - Quasi-healthier chips.
287. Sun Chips in Harvest Cheddar - Cheese > quasi health.
285. Vegetables sautéed in olive oil with salt and pepper.
284. Pringles in BBQ flavor - Good, but the grease is what's really good so these are just okay.
283. Choco-Taco - Impressive likeness to a taco, but the chocolate overload is a dream.
282. Tootsie Roll Pops - There's a built in surprise! A sort-of chocolatey token.
281. Milk Duds.
280. Doritos "salsa verde" - They taste great, but you will be gassy for the rest of your life. Do you accept?
279. Those low-budget cracker sticks with cheese.
278. Chicken-fried chicken.
277. A bunch of raspberries - You know you want to put em all over your fingers.
276. Jell-O Jigglers - These are bomb if you remember all the ingredients.
275. Pumpkin Spice Oreos - Start to taste like candles after a while.
274. Scooby-Doo Graham Cracker Sticks.
273. Popsicles - The cold liquid will feel so so good.
272. Tuna salad on crackers.
271. Peanut butter crackers.
270. Garden herb (ha) Triscuits - WE CAN'T STOP LAUGHING…
269. Butterscotch Candies.
268. Reese's Puffs cereal - Better in hindsight.
267. Ice cream sandwich - The standard chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream version.
266. Carrot cake.
265. Pork rinds - Are these actually made out of pork? It's not fried air?
263. Sunflower seeds - The shells are gonna be a bitch to clean up tomorrow though.
262. Coconut Snoball.
261. Fresh banana-nut bread.
260. Grapefruit - Not the best flavor, but sure cures cottonmouth.
259. Beef stew.
258. Green Giant Just For One broccoli and cheese sauce.
257. Orange Julius - Play it cool when you buy 10 of these in-store.
256. Pesto - On anything/everything.
255. Peppermint sticks - At least you'll smell good.
254. Eggs Benedict - Poaching is not always easy in this floaty state.
253. Whoopie Pies.
252. Hershey's Kisses.
251. Moose Tracks ice cream - If moose tasted like peanut butter they'd be extinct.
250. Peanut Butter pretzel nugs - Next thing you know your hand is hitting the bottom of the plastic tub.
249. French onion dip.
248. Pineapple upside-down cake - Cherries are required.
247. Trader Joe's Veggie Sticks.
246. Chocolate-covered raisins.
245. KFC Double Down - You don't need that much protein, but so what?
244. Chocolate turtles.
243. Turkey club sandwich - A classic for when you're stomach's got the rumblies.
242. Whole Foods dried mango.
241. Iced circus animal crackers - They're so cute!
240. Honey on a spoon.
239. A whole rotisserie chicken - Best paired with any '90s sitcom on Netflix.
238. Poutine - The canadians were onto something with the cheese curds and gravy on potatoes bit. Game. Over.
237. Naan - It's like a savory pancake.
236. Milky Way bar - Completely goopy, very chocolatey.
235. 3 Musketeers bar - A slightly less-goopy chocolatey treat.
234. Plain tortilla chips.
233. Grasshopper milkshake.
232. Vanilla soft-serve ice cream - Sometimes you can't handle the real thing, and that's okay, too.
231. Fettucine alfredo - Incredibly rich, but you deserve it today.
230. Mac and cheese pizza - If you mess it up it's just a lot of carbs and no flavor. Which, still fine tbh.
229. Sesame chicken.
228. Red velvet chicken and waffles - Hard to come by, but easy enough to DIY. And red velvet oozes class and refinement.
226. Lobster roll - 😌
225. Fried dill pickles - An improvement on an already pretty delicious dish.
224. Scoop of cookie butter - That Delta airlines cookies brand makes it, and it's pretty good.
223. Miso soup - To match the warmth you feel thinking about your best relationships.
222. Popcorn ball - Two dope things: marshmallows and popcorn. Messy and worth it.
221. French onion Sun Chips.
220. Chocolate milk - Sweet, sweet nectar.
219. Tuna casserole - Savory treat that's great hot or cold.
218. Lay's Barbecue Potato Chips - Did you know mesquite refers to the tree that the grilling wood comes from? #themoreyousmoke
217. GUAC - It's 7 o'guac, on the guac, I'm in my guac guac crusin the streeeeets. 🎤
216. Chocolate Teddy Grahams.
215. Cinnamon Teddy Grahams - Does anything pair with sugar as well as cinnamon?
214. Red Vines.
213. Cherry Slurpee - The king of the Slurpees.
212. Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco - Can't decide between nacho cheese and cool ranch? Get one of each.
211. Jolly Ranchers - Sour-er-er-er than you'd remember.
210. Root beer float - Best paired with a particularly poignant episode of Mad Men.
209. Airheads - They do still make these!
208. Laffy Taffy - Even the banana ones taste okay when you're high.
207. Chocolate-covered strawberries - Treat yo'self.
206. A jar of maraschino cherries.
205. Golden Grahams cereal - Incredibly dank.
204. Popcorn shrimp - If the shit you're smoking is too true, this will take your mind off the scary thoughts.
203. Corn Nuts - Available at every crappy gas station and bodega in the land.
202. Baklava - Go to the fanciest bakery in your town and throw DOWN.
201. Churros - Party like you're at Disneyland.
200. T-Bone steak.
199. M&M cookies - AHHHHHHH!
198. Heath bar - The caramel crunch stays with ya for hours.
197. Egg rolls - Crispy delights.
196. McChicken - The slept-on hero of the McDonald's world.
195. General Tso's chicken.
194. Pecan pie - The south's greatest achievement.
193. Home fries.
192. Rocky road ice cream - Because there's all kinds of crap mixed in, we get it now!
191. Chocolate-covered banana.
190. Sweet potato chips.
189. Birthday Cake Oreos - Vanilla and Chocolate cookies are tied.
188. Ice cream cake.
187. Egg McMuffin - You just have to get there before 10:30. (Oh wait!)
186. Regular Chex Mix.
185. Chicken teriyaki.
184. Frito pie - Chili, cheese, and Fritos. You're not going wrong, you're going right.
183. Crunch bar - You forgot rice krispies tasted so good dipped in chocolate, didn't you?
182. Lemon sorbet - Our mouths just started watering.
181. Croque madam.
180. Nestlé Drumstick - That chocolate chunk at the bottom of the cone is what dreams are made of.
179. Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream.
177. Shrimp and grits.
176. Sausage and pepper skewers.
175. Blondies - Brownies' white cousins.
174. Hot slice of cherry pie.
173. Macaroons - Big hunks of coconut, sometimes w/ chocolate on the bottom.
172. Macarons - Colorful w/ little fillings.
171. Lasagna - Why does shape affect the taste of pasta?
170. A squirt of Reddi Whip - Bonus for chocolate reddi whip.
169. S'moreos - Literally put a marshmallow and a piece of chocolate in between the top of an oreo and the icing and you have a treat FOR THE AGES.
168. Bacon-wrapped anything - Asparagus? Sure. Tots? Okay. Do you, boo.
167. Garlic cheesy bread - Pretty much any chain pizza place has a solid variety.
166. Butternut squash soup.
165. Boxed Thanksgiving stuffing - Requires very few ingredients and always tastes official.
163. Salted caramel anything.
162. A bunch of grapes - 🍇 Cures cottonmouth like no other.
161. Homemade brownies - Unless you already had brownies.
160. Homemade no-bake cookies - PB. Chocolate. Oats. Yes Lawd.
159. Air-popped popcorn with your own spices.
158. Those cream puffs from the freezer section.
157. Eggs in a basket - So cute. So so cute.
156. Strawberry shortcake - NO, WE'VE GOT LOVE IN OUR TUMMIES.
155. Bratwurst with sauerkraut - It only sounds good when you're high.
154. White Castle burgers - Level up with a sack of crinkle cut fries, too.
153. Jambalaya - Spicier the better.
152. Ritz Bits crackers with peanut butter.
151. Ritz Bits crackers with cheese.
150. Every meatball you can find.
149. Steamed dumplings - Order takeout, make very little eye contact…
148. Fresh baked bread with homemade butter - Oh, you don't have it???
147. Little Debbie Fudge Rounds.
146. Hostess Ho Hos.
145. Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies - Nobody actually dislikes these, they just forget to remember them.
144. Cookie Crisp cereal - Pretend you're a giant eating regular sized cookies.
143. Trix cereal - Think about how mean those kids were to that poor, poor bunny.
142. Nilla Wafers - Childhood noms never die.
141. Blueberry iced Toaster Strudel.
140. Chocolate pudding cup.
139. Klondike bar - What won't you do though?
138. Handi-Snacks Breadsticks 'n Cheez.
137. Lunchables Pizza with pepperoni - You'll feel like an artist and chef as you arrange the little pepperonis.
136. Spoonful of Cool Whip.
135. Big squirt of Cheez Whiz.
134. Regular M&M's - They don't melt all over you, and they're the right balance of smooth and crunchy.
133. Peanut M&M's.
132. York Peppermint Patty.
131. Bucket of granola - You'll just like the crunch.
130. Cheez-It crackers, white cheddar flavor.
129. Biscuits - Strictly in the American sense of the word.
128. Arby's curly fries - Pro - curly, seasoned fried potato. Con - you have to go to Arby's.
127. Andy Capp's Hot Fries - A very specific kind of vending machine carries these.
126. Nutter Butter cookies.
125. Ruffles potato chips (plain).
124. EVERY LINDOR TRUFFLE YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON.
123. Toblerone - Those commercials always seem so classy.
122. A whole avocado.
121. Cocktail shrimp.
120. Cold pepperoni pizza.
119. Ham and pineapple Pizza - Fight us.
118. Big Mac - This layered burger can hardly be labeled a snack as it comes in at 467 calories, but you might be hungry enough to eat two, so what do we know?
117. Sour Patch Peaches.
116. Goldfish crackers - Get the kind in the milk carton box and just drink 'em.
115. Town House crackers with cream cheese - Not just for parties anymore…
114. Cotton Candy Oreos - You won't believe how much they taste like cotton candy and then you'll think about all the other lies you've been forced to believe.
113. Melted cheese on tortilla chips- The "you tried" of nachos.
112. Wheat Thins.
111. Honey Nut Cheerios - You might think this is too high on the list, but you probably haven't had 'em in a while, so you're forgiven.
110. Bacon and eggs.
109. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
108. Cracked pepper and olive oil Triscuits - AYYYYYYY!
107. Big hunk of cheese - Sharp cheddar, pepperjack, swiss, gouda. It's all great.
106. Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies.
105. Samoas Girl Scout Cookies.
104. Butterfinger candy bar - Pretend to be Bart Simpson while you eat it, no judgment.
103. Doritos "spicy sweet chili."
102. Slice of pumpkin pie - Hard to find in season, but if you can, and it's good, then you've won.
101. Mounds candy bar - It's clear whoever named this liked Almond Joy better.
100. Mike and Ike candy - It's a shame that these fruity chews are so slept on. They are SO GOOD.
99. Lentil soup - If you're feeling adventurous throw in all kinds of basil leaves and cayenne peppers, and sautéed carrots.
98. Tuna melt.
97. Fish and chips - The Brits know what's up.
96. Fruit By The Foot.
95. Cheetos in "cheddar jalapeño" - Hard to find, yum to nom.
94. Ginger snaps - Not just for grandmas anymore.
93. Milano cookies.
92. Doritos in "spicy nacho" - Not too terribly spicy, but really filled with flavor, dude.
91. Lucky Charms cereal - Really great marshmallows, but the milk turns too sweet too fast.
90. Cinnamon sugar almonds - They almost taste like Cinnamon Toast Crunch
89. Pay Day bar.
88. Fruit Roll-Ups - Pro-tip: don't unroll!
87. Smartfood popcorn.
86. Key lime cheesecake - Do NOT discount the importance of tanginess.
85. Lay's dill pickle potato chips - What did I just say?
84. Baked potato with sour cream and chives - Our bodies are ready.
83. Burger King Chicken Nuggets - Y'all have slept on them for too long. FOR. TOO. LONG. Note how these are ranked compared to McNuggets.
82. Snyder's Honey Mustard Pretzel Nuggets - The flavor doesn't get old after your first, second, or two-thousand twenty-second nug.
81. French toast sticks - OMG DIP FOREVER
80. Almond Joy - A yummier Mounds bar.
79. Tostito's salsa con queso — straight out the jar - Dip anything in. ANYTHING.
78. Potato skins - Bacon-y cheesy Mess.
77. A big soft pretzel with cheese.
76. Cheese ball - Like the kind from Christmas or work parties.
75. Pot (ha) stickers - 🍴
74. Apple pie a la mode - This should be a mandatory daily snack.
73. Half of an everything bagel with cream cheese.
72. Homemade chocolate chip cookies.
71. Sea salt and vinegar potato chips - The tanginess is gonna blow your mind.
70. White Chocolate Oreos - Let's be really honest about how good these are. They're better than most kinds of sex. And the deep layer of white chocolate will help you eat it slow.
69. Can of Funfetti icing - It's #69 because it's a sexual experience, okay?
68. A Cinnabon cinnamon bun - A calorie for every day you've been alive.
67. Chex Mix in "bold party blend" - Your mouth is gonna be so dry. But that Worcestershire flavor tho…
66. S'mores - Make em in the microwave, but don't burn the house down.
65. Cookies n' Creme ice cream - How wonderful life is now you're in the world.
64. Onion rings - More ketchup than a little bit.
63. Cheeseburger sliders - Yes. Tiny burgers. 🍔
62. Frosted strawberry Pop Tarts - Dat sprinkled icing tho.
61. Jalapeño poppers - 💥
60. Waffles with loads of butter and syrup.
59. Fruit Gushers - Those commercials were messed up. Admit it.
58. A big overflowing burrito.
57. Flamin' Hot Cheetos - Your mouth is going to catch fire, but these bastards are worth it.
56. Swedish meatballs - From Ikea. Ever been stoned in Ikea?
55. Swedish Fish - How to pinpoint this flavor?! It's not exactly cherry, but it is damn good.
54. Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles - So good and the perfect base for dips.
53. Kit Kat candy bar - Chocolatey. Crunchy. Mild. Catchy theme song. It's got something for everybody.
52. Twix candy bar - Caramely cookie to take your mind off of why the left Twix always tastes better.
51. Skittles - You could really fuck up a handful of these.
50. Starburst - Save the cherry ones for last if you want a happy life.
49. Reese's Pieces - Legit.
48. Strawberry Toaster Strudel - THE VERY BEST TOASTER STRUDEL
47. Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts - THE VERY BEST POP TARTS. FIGHT US.
46. Combos baked snacks cheddar cheese and pretzel - crunchcrunchcrunchcrunch
45. Reese's peanut butter cups - If you can get the egg or pumpkin shaped ones then you've really struck gold. The very best use of chocolate AND peanut butter.
44. Spaghetti -and- meatballs - No one will feel fancier than you.
43. Mashed potatoes - The garlickier the better.
42. Tortilla chips and salsa - The salt will start to burn the side of your lips, but you're not gonna stop there, be real.
41. Cocoa Pebbles cereal - More substantial than Rice Krispies.
40. Cocoa Puffs cereal - More substantial thank Cocoa Pebbles.
39. Frosted Flakes cereal - They're GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR — what were we talking about again?
38 Spaghettios - Ain't shit Italian about this but that's not the point. You can basically just drink the Os.
37. Nachos - You can pretty much dump everything in your fridge on tortilla chips, then cover with cheese and boom, you've got it.
36. A spoonful of Nutella - Or a jar of Nutella. No church in the wild.
35. Dunkaroos - Only a real connoisseur can find these in our contemporary snack aisles and they deserve all the glory of these graham crackery, funfetti-y icing-y gifts.
34. Grippo's Bar-B-Q potato chips - The midwest's best kept secret.
33. Mozzarella cheese sticks - *Michael Jackson's song from Free Willy plays softly in the background*
32. Hostess Cup Cake - Pop this in the microwave for 15 seconds and let your best life begin.
31. Fruity Pebbles cereal - The milk turns artificial fruity!
30. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese - Eat like 10 packets.
29. Chow mein - Tender noodles pls.
28. Little Debbie Zebra Cakes - For your suppressed memories of 3rd grade Valentine's Day.
27. Rice Krispie Treats - That marshmallow/puffed rice mashup.
26. Fritos Flavor Twists in honey BBQ - WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.
25. Bucket of fried chicken - Heavenly.
24. Double Stuf Oreo cookies - Dip 'em in peanut butter. Eat em plain. Look like you have 8,000 cavities. Never look back.
23. Waffle Crisp cereal - Do they still make this? 🙏 Make them still make it, it is such a good cereal.
22. Gummy worms - Gummy. So sweet. All long and wormy but not gross at all. Score!
21. Sour gummy worms - MIGHT GUMMINESS BE THE TEXTURE TO RULE ALL TEXTURES?!
20. Doritos in "nacho cheese" - Tortilla chips' older, more handsome brother.
19. Bacon - Just a big old fried hunk of pig meat
18. Doritos in "cooler ranch" - The holographic Charizard of Doritos. We all know it.
17. Hot glazed donuts - ohmagah!!!
16. Tacos - Any kind of taco is good here. So soft, so hearty. Ahhhhh, we want tacos now!
15. A spoonful of peanut butter - Life's simplest pleasure.
14. Deviled eggs - These are the sleeper cell. No one can stop at one. Oh no. You will eat a dozen and cry when you realize these sweet, salty, crunchy, creamy son of a guns are not infinite. Not nearly. Not like the universe.
13. Gummy bears - It was a tough fight, but gummy bears are better than sour gummy worms are better than gummy worms. In the battle of gummies, gummy bears rule.
12. French fries - Hallelujah!
11. TATER TOTS - 😆🎉🙌💜😂
10. Grilled cheese sandwich - ALL THE CHEESE. ANY OF THE TOPPINGS. ALL THE DELICIOUSNESS YOU REMEMBER FROM YOUR HAPPIEST MEMORIES AWW YEAH SON AWW YEAH.
9. Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal - Even when they go soggy while you think too deeply about that cute mushroom sequence in Fantasia, they're still a solid choice.
8. Cheese quesadilla - Crispy on the outside. Ooey gooey on the inside. Only two ingredients (more if you've got a bunch of dank cheeses). 1-2 minute prep. Yes!!!
7. Cheez-Its - Eat half a box. After it's done, you get the mass of cheesy crackers behind your teeth to enjoy, too. That sounds gross, but be honest, that's half the yum of Cheez-Its.
6. Sour Patch Kids - These are chewy but not too chewy, and sour, but not too sour. Every flavor is actually good. Heroic.
5. Hot pepperoni pizza - Celebrate good times, COME ON! doo doo doodoo doo doodoo doo
4. Pizza Bagel Bites - Yo! Son! Pizzas but TINY. T-I-N-Y. Yes!!!!!
3. Snickers candy bar - Chocolate. Caramel. Nuts. Name means "to laugh happily." IT'S YOU IN A BAR.
2. Original Cheetos - You probably guessed Cheetos would be in the top 5, but it comes in at number 2 for a number of reasons: For starters, Cheetos have a name ridiculous enough to warrant weed-snack status. Additionally, they are fried in shapes so bizarre you could spend your entire trip guessing what each Cheeto is supposed to look like. Yum!
1. Cheetos Puffs - Why did Cheetos Puffs beat out regular Cheetos, you ask? Because Cheetos puffs have the delightful feature of disintegrating in your mouth as you eat them making them the perfect 420 treat. Weightless, uber cheesy, and enough extra dust on your fingers for a snack later on, these bad boys are the ultimate in stoney binging. Happy 420, y'all!
Akilah Hughes is a comedian, YouTuber, and staff writer and producer for Fusion's culture section. You can almost always find her waxing poetic about memes and using too many emojis. 🍕