The Corn People Are Mad at Bud Light

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

It’s the Super Bowl, which means it’s time yet again for Americans to indulge in their favorite pastime: getting mad at advertisements. This evening, we at Splinter have already contributed our part by getting mad about an ad for journalism. Now, it seems the National Corn Growers Association is getting in on the game.

One of Budweiser’s for-some-reason-highly-anticipated ads this evening, complete with an elaborate Medieval theme and Game of Thrones tie-in, centered around their product Bud Light’s lack of corn syrup.


The ad specifically shames Miller Lite and Coors Light for using corn syrup in their light beers.

Now, you might be saying “who cares, all light beer is disgusting and corn is in everything,” which is true. But this blatant corn-shaming was deeply offensive to one particular group of people.

Take that Bud! Corn syrup is good, actually. To us, the people who grow corn.

It’s true that corn syrup is not really much worse for you than regular sugar, though some scientists believe the body processes it differently. However, the powerful corn lobby is a real problem for our country. Due to their stranglehold on U.S. politics, corn products have made their way into almost everything we eat and many things we don’t, as was documented recently in a harrowing piece in The Atlantic about living with a corn allergy.


Furthermore, because of corn lobbyists, America grows insane amounts of corn that is mostly used to produce ethanol and corn syrup, not actual food. This is a really inefficient way to use agriculture, and the use of ethanol is bad for the environment.

But there’s no corn in Bud Light! Of course, that doesn’t make the piss-like beer any less gross. But someone should be happy about it, I guess. That seems to be the idea anyway.


We can only guess that this will somehow, somewhere end in MAGA dudes drinking corn syrup to own the libs.

Update, 2:30 am:

Well, no sign of chugging corn syrup yet, but...

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