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Hello. I am New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Once, my approval ratings were sky-high, and I was viewed as a legitimate Republican presidential contender with huge crossover appeal.

Today, this is me. 

PALM BEACH, FL - MARCH 01:  New Jersey Governor Chris Christie adjusts a microphone before introducing Republican Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump for a press conference on March 1, 2016 in Palm Beach, Florida. Christie stood by, often distracted, as Trump addressed the media at his Mar a Lago Club after the polls closed on Super Tuesday.  (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)
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I stand behind this Loud Man as he mocks my every accomplishment and dream.

PALM BEACH, FL - MARCH 01:  New Jersey Governor Chris Christie accompanies Republican Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump off the stage after a press conference on March 1, 2016 in Palm Beach, Florida. Christie stood by as Trump held a press conference at his Mar a Lago Club after the polls closed in a dozen states nationwide on Super Tuesday.  (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)
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I must wave to his admirers, who abhor my presence.

HICKORY, NC - MARCH 14: Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, left, and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, right, wave to the crowd during a campaign rally at Lenoir-Rhyne University March 14, 2016 in Hickory, North Carolina. The North Carolina Republican primary will be held March 15. (Photo by Sean Rayford/Getty Images)
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Sometimes I try to hide behind him, so that the cameras will not capture my pain.

FORT WORTH, TX - FEBRUARY 26:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announces that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie officially supports the Trump campaign during a rally at the Fort Worth Convention Center on February 26, 2016 in Fort Worth, Texas. Trump is campaigning in Texas, days ahead of the Super Tuesday primary.  (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
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But always they are there, documenting my torment.

FORT WORTH, TX - FEBRUARY 26:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announces that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie officially supports the Trump campaign during a rally at the Fort Worth Convention Center on February 26, 2016 in Fort Worth, Texas. Trump is campaigning in Texas, days ahead of the Super Tuesday primary.  (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
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I hear the Loud Man's words, and horror stirs inside me. 

NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 26:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump  speaks to supporters and the media with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie behind him at Trump Towers following the conclusion of primaries Tuesday in northeastern states on April 26, 2016 in New York, New York. Trump again gained more delegates to move  him closer to the Republican presidential nomination.  (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
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He shouts about his genitals, and I contort every muscle in my face into an approximation of a smile. 

FORT WORTH, TX - FEBRUARY 26:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announces that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie officially supports the Trump campaign during a rally at the Fort Worth Convention Center on February 26, 2016 in Fort Worth, Texas. Trump is campaigning in Texas, days ahead of the Super Tuesday primary.  (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
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When no one is focused on me, I fantasize about escaping to the mountains.

PALM BEACH, FL - MARCH 01:  Republican Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump speaks to the media at his Mar-A-Lago Club on Super Tuesday, March 1, 2016 in Palm Beach, Florida. Trump held the press conference, flanked by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, after the polls closed in a dozen states nationwide.  (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)
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But sooner or later it hits me that my fantasizing is just that; it is fantasy.

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Because of my sins, I have been cursed to endure this endless humiliation.

Donald Trump Holds Campaign Rally In NC One Day Ahead Of Primary
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Let my obvious agony serve as a warning to all politicians.

Donald Trump Attends Fundraising Rally For NJ Gov. Chris Christie
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This could be you.

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This IS me.

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My name is Chris Christie. And once, there was joy in my life.

NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 26:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump  speaks to supporters and the media with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie behind him at Trump Towers following the conclusion of primaries Tuesday in northeastern states on April 26, 2016 in New York, New York. Trump again gained more delegates to move  him closer to the Republican presidential nomination.  (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
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I cannot say this out loud, but: Please do not vote for the Loud Man this November.

PALM BEACH, FL - MARCH 01:  New Jersey Governor Chris Christie accompanies Republican Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump off the stage after a press conference on Super Tuesday, March 1, 2016 in Palm Beach, Florida. Trump held a press conference at his Mar a Lago Club after the polls closed in a dozen states nationwide.  (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)
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Free me from his iron grip.

Donald Trump Holds Super Tuesday Election Night Press Conf. In Palm Beach
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Please. And thank you.

LAWRENCEVILLE, NJ - MAY 19:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump  stands on stage with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie at the Lawrenceville National Guard Armory in Trump's first public campaign appearance in New Jersey on May 19, 2016 in Lawrenceville, New Jersey. The appearance with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is a $200 per head event with proceeds going towards helping Christie, a Trump ally, pay off debt from his own presidential campaign.  (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
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