That's all she wrote, folks. After four days and nights of craziness and trying to summon Lucifer, the Republican National Convention is finally over.
Tonight's theme? "Make America One Again." Is that theme hypocritical given the divisive nature of the last four nights? Absolutely. However, let's remember the night we'll all point to in the future after the Republic has long since turned to ash.
Here are the highlights.
The focus was squarely on the eyebrow-raising crime numbers it contained. There were some good reactions.
All the classic rock hits your divorced uncle loves were there.
They're playing Elton John. Seriously, you hate LBGTQ people. Stop stealing LGTBQ music.
— a dilapidated Joe (@KaijuJoe) July 22, 2016
The Liberty President University went _there_?
But there was a bright spot to this hilariously misguided descriptor.
Luckily he had this zinger in his back pocket: an anecdote about his father "dreaming" about an interview with Chelsea Clinton in which he told her the three biggest threats to America: "Osama, Obama, and your mama."
Maricopa County's finest got roasted on Twitter while speaking about building a wall here or there to block out some country or another.
Pastor Mark Burns yelled for a bit and then got the crowd involved.
It was lit and this was less than an hour into the night.
The Paypal co-founder took some time away from bankrupting an independent media company to talk about "distractions" and some other stuff.
And it was electric.
yea see this is a wild thing to say and i would’ve noticed it for sure yet i have no recollection of this happeninghttps://t.co/HCovKei3Qq
— Greg Howard (@greghoward88) July 22, 2016
Build wall around this song. #RNCinCLE
— Elizabeth Plank (@feministabulous) July 22, 2016
The future First Daughter opened her remarks up by calling her dad "the people's champion" because this whole week hasn't been enough of a pro-wrestling-esque zoo.
She also implied that while she was a child "playing" with Lego sets, her father was "doing the same" with concrete and glass. Playing!
Low bar and all, but she was the best speaker of the night.
Then it was time for the main event. He came out to the score from the Harrison Ford action-thriller Air Force One, naturally.
Wait, rewind that.
There was U-S-A chant, baby!
Trump promised there would be "no lies" at this convention. About that.
Were there "Lock her up" chants? Yes. Yes there were.
I lost count of how many times he said the words "law and order."
Trump was railing against "Islamic terrorists," name-checking recent sites, but when he got to "Orlando," things took a turn.
Which, again, would be costly.
It's "a disaster" and there will be changes!
There was something about how LBJ was bad and free speech is in danger and separation of church and state was a mistake
I would definitely agree that my support for Trump has increased 5000% post-RNC.
— Martin Shkreli (@MartinShkreli) July 22, 2016
The little tyke did not want to be on the stage following Dad's speech. "Daaaaad, don't touch me."
Celebrity chef Tom Colicchio summed up the week pretty well.
Wednesday, November 9th can't come fast enough.
David Matthews operates the Wayback Machine on Fusion.net—hop on. Got a tip? Email him: firstname.lastname@example.org