The Most Generic Pop Song Ever Wants to Star In Your Commercial

Selling out is wholly underrated. Ask Jon Lajoie (music maker, dreamer of dreams, “Taco” on FX’s The League, cool boyfriend in your dreams), who came up with the perfect bland, generic pop song for your brand’s bland, generic ad campaign: “Please Use This Song.” It is so nothing that it is everything. Take a look:

The song (which is only funny because it sounds SO MUCH like a real-ass pop song) perfectly illustrates how boring we all are. We’re so boring and we buy boring things from boring companies with boring commercials. But we know it. And that’s exciting.

I’m kidding. We’re not always boring. But mostly, right? If every person has, like, a song within them, most of us — like the vast, vast majority of, like, people in the U.S. using the internet regularly — are a song used to sell a car to someone who “rallies” before going to, like. Seeing Frozen. And I’m not judging you for that. I mean, I am right there with you. I am right there, “rallying” and “jamming” to ads. Most of the music on my iPod are songs I’ve heard in commercials for my iPod. It’s just, like. Life.