The Oregon militiamen requested snacks; the internet's sending dildos instead

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

The internet has never really taken the Oregon Wildlife Refuge protestors seriously.


First, conservative internet personalities cast doubt on whether Ammon Bundy and co.'s demonstration would ever amount to more than a media spectacle. Then people started mocking their impassioned proclamations of patriotism on Twitter and writing lurid, homoerotic fanfiction about them.

Now, after listening to the militiamen's desperate pleas for snacks, the internet is sending the #OregonUnderAttack boys very special care packages—filled with dildos.

"It's sad that there are people who would spend this kind of money on this rather than spending it to do good in the world," gun-rights enthusiast and Oregon dildo recipient Jon Ritzheimer wrote in a Facebook post. "I'm done living in fear of an oppressing force."

It's not hard to see why Ritzheimer's upset at receiving all those personal massagers in place of the jerky that his fellow protestors initially asked for, considering that all their money's probably going to have to go to those $70,000 per day security charges they're racking up.