Yes, this is another of those posts calling out all the uber-annoying things people do online. I know, a listicle. Sigh. I wonder what you’re thinking now. Will the writer condescend to me with a lot of tropes illustrated by a cute kitten GIF? Oooh kittens. But you might be a dog person. Yeah, suck it. This is MY list.
The “I’m trying to be cool” pose
Just because you “joke” that you’re trying to “smoulder” doesn't mean that we give you a hall pass for that pancake face. Srsly?
The fact that it’s tagged “Beverly Hilton, Los Angeles” just makes it worse.
The “great hair” selfie
Okay, we admit that you look hot. That’s hair worthy of Zack Morris.
See, a GIF like you were expecting.
Still with hair like that, shame on you for flaunting.
The “I think I look cute” let me get validated by you
Yes, also known as the selfie. Thanks for sharing. Plus, wearing a Luigi outfit does not make you a geek.
The “my life is like one long celebrity show”
No one likes a show off. Great to know that you went somewhere exciting and cool, way to make the rest of us feel inadequate.
The “look, I do cool sh*t like go on boats”
Not a picture of a boat. A picture of you on a boat….with a sunset. Sooo jealous.
The “I workout” selfie
Yes, that’s a dumb bell. Great. So you’re at the gym. My life is so enriched.
The “look, I can cook”
I’m sure that’s delicious, but do I care that you eat? Nope. Do I care that you can cook? Nope. Overshare much?
The “hey, I have a pool…in October”
I’m glad you’re having a nice weekend, but seriously? A swimming pool snap, and you’re not on holiday? Give it a break.
The “let me celeb namedrop” post
No doubt your work life looks AMAZING and OMG. But do you need to tell us all? Thanks.
The “green finger goddess show off”
The caption here asked users to identify what was up with the plant. Do we care what’s wrong with it? No. Are we jealous that you have a herb garden? YES.
The “foodie show off”
Grilled cheese gone gourmet? This one has, “strawberry, basil, brie on sourdough.” I can TOTALLY tell that from the picture.
The “I can use OTHER apps to make my pics look cool.” Which means you can’t see the image.
So I’ve blown up the photo here, but lets be real. You’re looking at this on a cellphone. A tiny cellphone. I have no idea whats happening here. FAIL.
The “heyyy I’m cute. I wake up just like this”
Do you, do you really? Or did you angle your head, wink those long lashes and makes us go gooey with a little effort? No? I totally believe you.
FYI, whatever you may think of all the comments I have made here, I just want to let you know - for full disclosure - that every single callout here featured a member of the Alicia Menendez team, including me. Hey, don’t bring it if you can’t take it, right?
And for fun…
Nothing bad to say here, I really do like puppies.
Here is another one.
Header image from Terry Robinson, Flickr