The Unpublished, 2018

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

A selection of unpublished headlines left to rot in Splinter’s drafts folder.

“Oprah Is Not ‘The Anti-Trump’”

“I’m Tired”

“Peter Madsen, Danish Inventor, Charged With the Murder of Journalist Kim Wall”

“Who Will Save Our Souls? Jewel? Jewel. Jewel!”

“Rick Gates’ Legal Team Resigns From Russia Case”

“Here’s Why Donald Trump Hasn’t Read The Democrat’s Anti-Nunes Memo”

“Matt Gaetz and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Trump’s Media Apologists”

“Disney’s Shitty Headline-Grabbing Bonus Even Shittier Than Previously Thought”


“Trump Picks Confirmed Sadist to Shape U.S. Sentencing Policy”

“Fuck Off Mediaite”

“Overrated: Lofts”

“Good Law to Maybe Go into Effect in New York, But Probably Not”

“BBC to Air Famous Racist Speech in Full”


“Why Is Nancy Pelosi At A Conference for Deficit Hawks?”

“The Problem Is Cops (DON’T POST)”


“Controversial Ruling: Workers Should Be Paid For the Time They Work”

“Who’s Checking the Checkers?” [Ed. note: We should finish this]

“Twitter Finally Does The Damn Thing And Bans Alex Jones”

“Here’s Our Best Guess at the Identity of the Anonymous Op-Ed Writer”

“Some Of Us Actually Have To Vote Here TKTKTK”

“Yesterday, I pointed out that Jeff Bezos, whose personal wealth is $163 billion,”


“I Wish All My Friends Were Political Consultants”



“Bad Men Vote for Bad Man”

“Just Tell People How Much They’ll Save”

“GOP Baffled That Voters Correctly Believe Tax Cuts Benefitted Wealthy”

“What Axios Won’t Say”

“Is Jair Bolsonaro Really Like Donald Trump?”

“Are You Fucking Kidding Me (DEMS LOSE HOUSE)”

“Holy Shit, the Democrats Just Took the Senate”

“Taylor Swift Defeated in Tennessee”

“America’s Most Racist Republican Just Got the Boot”

“save as a draft”

This is Splinter’s reaction to the news today.”

“Fox News Hires Diamond & Silk, Which I Guess Makes a Lot of Sense”

“We Are Drowning in Garbage George H.W. Bush Takes”

“Ghoul Barfs”

Editor-in-Chief, Splinter