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How do you explain the spectacle that is the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show to someone who, prior to 9:55 pm last night when I wrenched the remote from his hands to change the channel, never knew such an event existed?

That's the challenge that me and two other VS Show professional viewers faced during last night's hour-long extravaganza featuring the most flawless women on the planet stomping down a runway that appeared to be made of molten lava while wearing 18k gold lingerie.

Here's how it went down:

OPENING ACT

VS Show Virgin [VSSV]:

What is this. Why are they wearing wings? Is this an awards show?

Professional viewers:

This is the most important television event of the year. They're wearing wings because they're among the chosen few who are blessed enough to be called Victoria's Secret Angels. No awards statues are presented.

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VSSV:

What does being an "Angel" mean exactly?

Pros:

An "Angel" is basically a combination of a rockstar, Olympic athlete, entrepreneur and fashion icon who also happens to be the hottest person on Earth. They're also really cool and fun to hang out with and some take classes at Harvard.

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VSSV:

Wait, who are all those people in the audience?

Pros:

Musicians like Ellie Goulding, pervy celebs like Chuck Bass and Angel-boyfriends like Tyson Beckford, plus a lucky few civilians.

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VSSV:

Wait is this a commercial? Or a reality show? Or is it still just the regular show?

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Pro:

All three!

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VSSV:

Are Adriana and Alessandra secret enemies? How is it possible that two people who look like that exist?

Pros:

No. They're good friends and have grown up on the runway together. Alessandra is kind of a selfie snob on Instagram. Adriana is sorta whatever on social media but she seems like a good mom. Alessandra is a huge deal but Adriana is 100x more important to Victoria's Secret and is the face on every store behind the counter.

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VSSV:

Does Taylor know these people? Why do they seem so friendly backstage?

Pros:

Taylor doesn't just know them. She hangs out with the Angels all the time and Karlie are best friends who unfortunately did not make out recently.

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VSSF:

Where can I go to learn more about the rich history of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?

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Pros:

Here are some miscellaneous educational items, along with a curated retrospective of past shows to pass along to the VS Fashion Show virgin in your life:

A Complete History of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

1999 New York Times review of the historic first webcast of a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

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VSFashionShow by the numbers

The Best Victoria's Secret Bodies of All Time: From Giselle Bundchen to Adriana Lima

Fusion's own Jess Blank gets Angel lessons from Adriana

1995:

2000:

2005:

2010:

2013:

Til next year.

Alexandra DiPalma is a producer for Fusion Lightworks, Fusion’s In-house Branded Content Agency.