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I will readily admit something right up front: I am a crazy dog lady. Well, not currently, but the potential is there, sitting back on its haunches and ready to run free and wild the minute I reach an appropriate age for wearing odd hats and sweatshirts featuring dogs doing people things. So when I read that 18 percent of pet owners have Skyped their boo-boos, my first thought was “those heifers be lying,” because I’d guess the number is probably closer to 97.3 percent.

Here’s more on the habits of of fur-ever families (lol, but also gag) from TIME:

17% of pet owners have made a social media account for their pet, 25% have “friended” or “followed” a pet on social media, and 18% have attempted to use Skype or FaceTime with the animal that lives in their home.

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The survey, conducted by electronics warranty provider SquareTrade, also indicates that 19 percent of pet owners believe that their pets destroy their electronic devices — whether by knocking them over or peeing all over them — out of anger.

Other things pets will do out of misplaced rage:

  • Subtweet you
  • Eat so many cronuts
  • Write a Thought Catalog post about pets’ rights and passive-aggressively post it to your Facebook wall
  • Center themselves with yoga
  • Declare that they cannot even
  • Refuse to endorse you on LinkedIn
  • Call your book club choices “pedestrian”
  • Spill half of a Venti Iced Oprah Spiced Chai Latte with Soy on your phone
  • Crap on your pillow