There's Only Like a 35% Chance Trump Knew About the Gigantic Bomb the U.S. Just Dropped

The United States flexed its military might on Thursday, dropping the most powerful, non-atomic bomb in its arsenal–the first time this weapon has ever been used in combat–on Islamic State targets in Afghanistan.

And what does President Donald Trump, the head of the bloated military-industrial complex that brought the “mother of all bombs” to bear on what is apparently an ISIS cave and tunnel complex, have to say for himself? Surely he was involved at every stage of planning such an historically destructive and deadly military strike?

Well…:

Everybody knows exactly what happened. What I do is I authorize my military. We have the greatest military in the world and they’ve done a job as usual. We have given them total authorization and that’s what they’re doing, and frankly that’s why they’ve been so successful lately. If you look at what’s happened over the last eight weeks and compare that really to what’s happened over the past eight years, you’ll see theres a tremendous difference, tremendous difference. So we have incredible leaders in the military, and we have incredible military. We are very proud of them. This was another very, very successful mission.

The question from the White House press corps was: “Did you authorize the bombing?”

Trump offered the same fifth grade reading level-type reply at the event to honor first responders when asked if he knew about the massive bombing campaign at all.

“Really another successful job,” he said. “We’re very, very proud of our military, just like were proud of the folks in this room, we are so proud of our military it was another successful event.”

Will this latest “very, very successful mission” prove on par with Trump’s first drone strike as president, which left an American soldier and 30 others dead, including 10 women, and an 8-year-old child dead? Only time will tell.