One of the first things taught in every public school in the United States of America is that while hiking on the Scotchman Peak Trail in Bonner County, Idaho, you really shouldn't try to hang out with the goats. Of course, feeding the goats sounds like fun. Goats are cute, and they eat from your hands in a particularly cute way. But! There's a reason our federal government designs the curriculum it does, and it's to avoid what keeps happening on the Scotchman Peak Trail in Bonner County, Idaho (which offers "expansive views of Lake Pend Orielle"). People keep feeding the goats, and guess what? The goats are fighting back.
In the Bonner County Daily Bee—which is, some have been known to say, the finest periodical Bonner County has to offer—a journalist by the name of Keith Kennard tells the tale of goats gone wild. After "continued reports of goats attempting to head-butt or charge hikers" as a product of visitors "enticing the goats to come close by offering food or even allow the goats to eat from their hands," the U.S Forest Service announced on Friday they'd be closing the Scotchman Peak Trail temporarily, Kennard reports.
One may wonder what sinister plans the government may have in store to mitigate the goat's aggressiveness. Jason Kirchner, a spokesman for the Idaho Panhandle National Forests, told the Daily Bee the closure "is intended to allow time for the goats to find other sources of food beyond handouts provided by hikers and to reduce their willingness to approach humans."
What does this look like in practice? It's best left out of your imagination. Stay in school, kids.
Michael Rosen is a reporter for Fusion based out of Oakland.