Picture yourself on a farm, doing farmer shit, when suddenly your leg becomes stuck in a large piece of machinery you’re working with. What do you do? A guy in Nebraska chose to cut his losses in the realest way possible. And by “cut,” I mean he chopped off his own fucking leg.
Yes, this actually happened. Per NBC News (emphasis mine):
Kaser, 63, said he was moving corn on his farm in Pender when he stepped into a corn hopper and his foot and the bottom half of his leg became stuck in the machine, which was still running.
He said his family was not home and he knew it would be a while before anyone arrived at the farm.
After he tried to free himself but couldn’t, he grabbed a pocketknife he was carrying and cut his leg free.
“I could feel it cutting nerves,” Kaser said. “Finally, it let go, and then I started crawling to the house.”
To be clear, “cut his leg free” means, “free from the rest of his body.” The whole thing, according to Kaser, took about five minutes.
“When it first happened, I can remember telling myself, ‘This ain’t good. This is not good at all,’” Kaser told Omaha’s ABC affiliate, in what might be the understatement of the century. Later, he told them: “It is what it is.” Kurt strikes me as a glass-half-full kind of guy. Big ups to him for that, and sorry about the bloody corn.
If this had happened to me, I don’t think I would be able to summon up the willpower necessary to cut off my own goddamn limb like James Franco in 127 Hours. I’d just wait for death to take me, albeit rather loudly and in an extremely impatient fashion.
What would you do? Sound off in the comments!!! (And for the love of god, no pictures.)