This Has Got to Be the World's Most Cursed News Site

Splinter supports innovative ideas in journalism. That’s why we back LaCorte News, a new journalistic venture that will revolutionize media and bring back objectivity, truth, justice, and reason. How will the publication achieve this? With a few old white guys accused of sexual harassment and racism, of course.

LaCorte News is a deeply cursed website dreamed up by Ken LaCorte, a former Fox News executive. He first floated the concept in May, but now he has assembled a Justice League of disgraced assholes he claims will rescue news media from the abyss.

His recruits include Michael Oreskes, the former head of news at NPR who was pushed out over multiple allegations of sexual harassment, and former Fox News executive editor John Moody, who left his job after writing a “sarcastic” op-ed so racist that Fox removed it from their site.

Don’t worry, it gets worse!

The description of the site, which is scheduled to soft-launch at the end of January, reads as follows:

In the last few years, “yellow journalism” has returned. The media has always had its biases and problems, but never before have we witnessed such a quick loss of credibility and trust. Too often, reporters have become activists and reasonable opinion has been replaced by extremism, trading credibility for online clicks. It’s hurting not just the media, but America as well.

Ah yes, news is bad now, and we must fix it. So how exactly will LaCorte News differ from your run-of-the-mill clickbait factory? Well, we’re glad you asked: by pushing back against the out-of-control political correctness that has allegedly overtaken logic and reason, and by, uh, dreaming up a nonpartisan “scoring system.”

From Politico:

The site…will feature a curated feed of aggregated news alongside some original content. Placement of each story will be partially determined by an “importance score” assigned by editors, to avoid the type of algorithm-driven partisan news silos that have formed on platforms such as Twitter and Facebook.

“I’m proud that I pulled in both the former head of news at Fox News and the former head of news at NPR,” LaCorte told Politico. “I’m not going to be egotistical enough to say I’m going to save journalism, but I’m f—-ing trying.”

He added, “I couldn’t have afforded either one of these guys had we not been in this crazy type of atmosphere. In a weird way, I’m actually a beneficiary of companies being hypersensitive.”

Yeah it’s super weird that people don’t want to be associated with racists and accused harassers!

LaCorte told Politico he’s not concerned that his chosen team could be an impediment towards his goals: “I kind of anticipated that by bringing [Oreskes] aboard, some people might find that to be a good reason to dislike my product, this news service, before it started, but it just seemed like the right thing.”

We agree. The way towards a sustainable, objective media empire is following your heart. LaCorte is launching this monstrosity with $1 million of his own money, and plans to make money off advertising, a strategy that’s worked extremely well for the rest of digital media. But we think LaCorte should put even more money into this surefire blockbuster of an idea. In fact, he should put all of his cash into LaCorte News. You’ve gotta spend money to make money, as they say.

LaCorte News may not be the website we need, but it’s almost certainly the website we deserve.