This is the best consultant presentation on the future you will ever read

Faith Popcorn is a futurist and consultant. She is best known for a book that came out in 1991 that predicted trends for the rest of the decade (some came true, sorta).

But she’s still been at it for all these years.

This past January, she presented a slide deck called “FutureVision2025” explaining her vision of the workforce of tomorrow. We stumbled upon the presentation this weekend.

IT IS THE BEST PRESENTATION ON THE FUTURE WE HAVE EVER READ.

While we aren’t totally certain how Popcorn actually described some of these, we did our best to interpret what was going on.

Let’s check it out.

IT’S THE YEAR 2025 AND YOU ARE NOW AN AUGMENTED HUMAN.

YOU HAVE A CHIP SOMEWHERE IN/ON YOUR BODY THAT TURNS WORK INTO CALL OF DUTY: ADVANCED WARFARE AND ALSO WII FIT.

THE CHIPS ARE RELATIVELY INEXPENSIVE COMPARED WITH THE APPLE WATCH.

YOU MAY EITHER ATTEND WORK VIA SHOWERCAP…

OR OMNICOCOON.

YOUR NEW VOCABULARY CONSISTS OF WORDS LIKE “EGONOMICS” AND “BEING ALIVE…”

AND “ATMOSFEAR…”

AND THESE ???

HERE IS YOUR NEW MANAGER, PICTURED AS SHE “CLANS.”

BUT SHE’S NOT REALLY YOUR MANAGER BECAUSE YOU NOW LIVE IN AN “AD-HOCRACY.”

IF YOU AREN’T ONE OF THESE PEOPLE BY NOW YOU HAVE FAILED…

AND BECOME ONE OF THESE.

BUT THAT’S OKAY, YOU HAVE A BOT WHO WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH FEELINGS OF ADEQUACY AND FULFILLMENT.

THEY WENT TO GOOD SCHOOLS.

IF YOU ARE REALLY LUCKY, YOU HAVE BECOME JESSICA 2025. SHE IS THE ARCHETYPAL WORKER OF THE FUTURE, AND HER LIFE ACTUALLY SOUNDS PRETTY GREAT.

HER TYPICAL DAY STARTS OFF WITH A SALES REPORT: BUSINESS AT CONTENT DISTRIBUTOR “VITAFEED” IS BOOMING.

A FEW HOURS LATER SHE HAS JOB INTERVIEWS WITH BUFF AUG-HUMAN TECHBROS LIKE THIS GUY.

THE APP STORE IN HER BODYCHIP IS 360°. ONE APP LETS HER INSTANTLY START SPEAKING ANY LANGUAGE SHE WANTS.

SHE IS IN A UNION.

AFTER WORK SHE PERFORMS VIRTUAL WARRIOR POSING FREE OF SHAME.

SHE DOESN’T EVEN NEED TO EAT: FAST FORWARD TO 9:30 P.M., AND IT’S TIME FOR “SYNESTHESIA SEX” WITH DAVID.

DOWNLOAD THE FULL DECK HERE.

THANKS FOR LISTENING.

Rob covers business, economics and the environment for Fusion. He previously worked at Business Insider. He grew up in Chicago.