This Space Shit Is Making Me So Mad

On Thursday, Vice President Mike Pence visited the Johnson Space Center to give a speech on the Trump administration’s plans for space exploration. Here’s a bit of what he had to say:

“The time has come for the United States of America to establish a permanent presence around and on the Moon,” Pence said.

Hmmmm. Has it?

On the one hand, we are swiftly and steadfastly destroying our home planet, but is now really the time to talk about settling on the moon? I, for one, am crazy for space and would move there in a minute and never look back, but I’m gonna say no!! And hmmm, along with SPACE FORCE, you gotta wonder: What’s with the administration’s new focus on the cosmos?

Could it be perhaps that they’d rather talk about fighting non-existent crime on Mars than the hundreds of immigrant children who are still separated from their parents, the disastrous American healthcare system, or, I don’t know, the extensive solar system of corrupt, literal criminals circling our dishonorable president?

During his speech on Thursday, Pence also said: “Our administration has laid out a new vision for space. President Trump’s vision—to push our nation farther, get there faster than ever before—is being implemented as we speak.”

It’s truly wild how stuff that might’ve sounded awe-inspiring in the ‘60s sounds completely idiotic coming from the Trump administration in 2018!! As we barrel ahead toward an ever-unraveling corruption scandal, it’s not hard to understand why the White House would choose to focus on vague space travel plans and couch it all in language that sounds like it could have come from 50 years ago.

But they should probably just cut to the chase and say: “We chose to go to the moon, not because it is easy but because it is an elaborate distraction.”