Today rapper G-Eazy and producer Christoph Andersson released an ass-centric video for what is supposed to be a "hip hop" song called "Tumblr Girls"—which has proceeded to unfathomably take over the internet.
These are the opening lines of "Tumblr Girls":
Cause I'm in love with these
Tumblr girls with
Their skinny waists and
The words are proclaimed over a bass-heavy, "trip hop" beat that seems more appropriate as the muffled soundtrack to your friend vomiting up molly outside a hipster dive-bar (read: it's just awful).
Though it seems impossible for the song to get any worse, it's all downhill from there.
Lyrically, G-Eazy is a little whiny in an "MRA" kind of way:
She's just like tons of girls
She expects the free drinks
Loves the drama
She chose it
Draws the line
Then she blows it
Cocaine and histrionics. Got it.
My secondhand embarrassment hasn't flared this badly since 12th grade English class when my pop-punk peers penned excruciating poetry about their unrequited high school loves. Yuck. Write it in your diary, Gerald. Spare us!
The video is just as terrible as the song. It's a disenchanted, drugged out, uber-filtered Instagram feed filled with images of self-indulgent models in weird lingerie, lounging in well-decorated lofts, sporting geometric tattoos.
Egregious nudity and lazy drug-use visuals abound.
Which, sure, girls on Tumblr can appreciate/anticipate from time to time (every time I make the mistake of opening Tumblr at work I end up seeing a stray boob) — but I don't think these ladies accurately reflect women who use Tumblr.
I doubt that girl spinning through the kitchen with booze is in the SuperWhoLock fandom.
So then, who are these girls? They appear to have nothing but time on their hands; sole responsibilities seem to be rolling around in bed, drinking booze, and staring at themselves in the mirror.
Is G-Eazy inciting Tumblr to embrace this track because all the teens left Facebook? Does he think mentioning Tumblr a few times will make him appear cooler? Didn't we already see this video in the form of a Levi's "Go Forth" ad? Isn't it getting old, glamorizing young, naked women who do nothing but act adventurous with a bunch of skinny, well-dressed friends? If a video drops in the forest without 900 shots of lady butts, does it get get any views?
Akilah Hughes is a comedian, YouTuber, and staff writer and producer for Fusion's culture section. You can almost always find her waxing poetic about memes and using too many emojis. 🍕