Thoughts and Prayers for the NRA, Which Can't Afford Coffee For Its Staffers Anymore

Devastating news for fans of guns and mass murder: The Trace reported on Thursday that the National Rifle Association is in such dire financial straits that it can no longer offer free coffee or even water coolers at its headquarters in Fairfax, VA.

According to The Trace, the cost-cutting, which comes as part of an effort “to overhaul the organization’s budget to make up for lost revenue,” is affecting multiple NRA programs. In September, OpenSecrets revealed that an audit of the NRA’s finances showed the organization’s income was “plummeting” thanks to falling membership revenue which coincided with a huge spike in election spending in 2016, when they spent $51.5 million.

But the Trace reports that the biggest driver of financial troubles at the moment is its lawsuit against Gov. Andrew Cuomo and the New York Department of Financial Services. A former NRA staffer told the Trace that funding is “going from the programs to fight the legal battle,” and that they’re “draining money from general operations,” which pays for things like coffee.

Employees at the NRA who are currently grumbling through an uncaffeinated morning might also be upset to hear that the organization found more than $1 million to spend on ads supporting Brett Kavanaugh earlier this year.

Henceforth, if NRA employees feel that they ‘gotta have their java,’ they will be forced to drive two miles to the nearest Starbucks or Panera Bread through Fairfax’s hellish tangle of freeways. Good luck!