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What the sixties were to rock and roll and civil rights, the seventies were to disco and denim, the eighties were to cocaine and shoulderpads: this is what the nineties were to objectively bizarre hair accessories. And yes, of course, we owned almost all of them.

Slap on some Manic Panic, tie on a bandanna, and throw on a sideways baseball cap for good measure – it's time for a walk of shame down memory lane.

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1. The Hairagami

No wonder the Hairagami inspired a song. It was perfect for the one-woman aerobics class you taught in your bedroom…

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Not to mention your oddball cousin's S-themed wedding!

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2. Comb headbands

The scalp-scraping look is modeled here by Maria Shriver, who should have known better, if only because she is a goddamn Kennedy.

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See also: those thick, stretchy cloth headbands. Sorry not sorry, Nicole.

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3. The Hairdini

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With the Hairdini, you'd be the fanciest lady in that board meeting/on that balcony/in front of that glass wall/at the Sears Portrait Studio.

4. The Braidini

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From the people who brought you the Hairdini, the vaguely IUD-shaped Braidini seemed like it was really, really hard to use, even for that poor lady in the commercial. You had one job, lady in the commercial.

5. Scrunchies

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Scrunchies are coming back, if Hillary has anything to do with it.

6. Barrettes

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No amount of barrettes was ever enough. Clip on more, and more, and more — it didn't matter, because life has no meaning. These are the Waiting for Godot of hair accessories.

7. Hair wraps

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Also known as threadlocks, these elaborate self-crafting projects proved embroidery floss wasn't just for weaving friendship bracelets at camp.

8. Hair sticks

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The perfect choice for the busy gal who may require pencils or eating utensils at a moment's notice.

9. Butterfly clips

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For a brief period in evolutionary history, the butterfly and the human enjoyed a mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship. It was beautiful.

Molly Fitzpatrick is senior editor of Fusion's Pop & Culture section. Her interests include movies about movies, TV shows about TV shows, and movies about TV shows, but not so much TV shows about movies.